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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866322">Fate: Spectral Bride</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoseWhoDwell/pseuds/ThoseWhoDwell'>ThoseWhoDwell</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night &amp; Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types, Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works (Anime 2014), ロード・エルメロイⅡ世の事件簿 - 三田誠 | Lord El-Melloi II Case Files - Sanda Makoto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Drama, Drama &amp; Romance, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Fluff/Smut, Every Fate story is a canon divergence I'm just covering my bases, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Character(s), Lesbian Sex, Multi, Planning this was fun but it was also like homework, Political Drama, Post-Canon, Post-Unlimited Blade Works, Romance, Rules? Fuck rules, Sex, Sibling Bonding, Sixth Holy Grail War, Smut, This franchise is a disaster, Trying to tie up every loose end I can think of, Unlimited Blade Works is (mostly) canon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-11 00:14:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>32,148</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866322</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThoseWhoDwell/pseuds/ThoseWhoDwell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the Fifth Holy Grail War (Unlimited Blade Works route), the participants, the Church, and the Mage Association attempt to deal with the fallout. Six months later, another grail suspiciously manifests and the survivors of the war are once again roped into a new conflict, suspecting darker forces at play. Shirou, Rin, Illya, and Sakura all ally themselves together against the conflicting interests of new Servants and Masters alike, hoping to destroy the grail for good. As tensions rise, they each find they were not chosen by the Grail again mistakenly, as their own pasts and desires begin to collide.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Artoria Pendragon | Saber/Tohsaka Rin, Illyasviel von Einzbern &amp; Matou Sakura, Illyasviel von Einzbern/Matou Sakura</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Prologue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Illyasviel had not closed her eyes. She wished she had, as somehow her consciousness never fully drifted from her after the blonde man had reached into her chest and torn out her heart. At first, she didn’t even feel pain. It was simply too overwhelming to register a ‘feeling’ at all. She slumped over, feeling noticeably lighter as she found herself completely unable to move. She could only stare, without blinking, at her home that had been mostly destroyed. The home that, along with her two maidservants who were now dead, had raised her. The large, cavernous mansion that felt like the emptiest place in all of existence. </p><p> </p><p>So she waited. Because that was the only thing she’d ever done. Waited.</p><p> </p><p>She’d waited for her father to finally come home. She’d waited for the horrifying visions and dreams of her ‘mother’ to stop. She waited to grow up and finally look like girls her age did. And now, appropriately, she waited to die. Right after finding Shirou, someone she thought she would hate because of everything he’d wrongfully stolen from her, but turned out to be the closest thing to what she yearned for all these years. There was a glimmer of hope. A possibility that maybe she wasn’t condemned to this fate. Perhaps the Grail would never come to be, and perhaps she could finally break through the shackles of her isolation. Maybe she could go to school. Talk to other people. Study magic at the Clocktower. Or, conversely, maybe she could pursue a life without magic. Maybe that would be best. She knew the girl Rin went to school with Shirou, maybe she could be like her. Though, the prospect was intimidating. She couldn’t imagine talking to a bunch of people she didn’t know. Then again, she couldn’t imagine talking to people she <em> did </em>know. She didn’t know anyone.</p><p> </p><p>She internally pleaded for it to be over. She wanted to finally die. Maybe that would grant her some solace. She wondered, did someone like her have a soul? Did it even matter? Would death, when it finally came, be painful? She was presently in enough pain as it was, she couldn’t imagine it being any worse. The blood loss was immeasurable, and the initial shock had worn off as the crater in her chest throbbed with a searing, nerve-shredding, white-hot pain she didn’t even think was possible for her to feel. How long would this take? Shiro and Rin left to pursue their adversary nearly an hour ago. Or was it hours? She couldn’t make heads or tails of it when she really thought about it. </p><p> </p><p>The sound of footsteps pierced her consciousness. </p><p> </p><p>She had been there for a while, so any difference in her surroundings would stick out like a sore thumb. The only trouble here was that she couldn’t see the source of the sound. Her head was turned in the opposite direction, and there was no way she’d be able to move. Instead, she simply lay there, mildly terrified of what could possibly happen next. </p><p> </p><p>Was this the angel of death, finally there to take her away from this awful place? That was her best possible hope.</p><p> </p><p>She felt a presence near her. It wasn’t someone examining the wreckage of the Einzbern home, it was someone approaching her. In terms of the few people she knew, there just wasn’t anyone left. Not to her knowledge anyway. She hoped that maybe it was Shiro and Rin, maybe coming back to say a final goodbye. That would’ve been nice.</p><p> </p><p>“Illya, sweetheart… what’s happened to you?”</p><p> </p><p>The voice made a chill run down her spine. Even near death, she would never escape the horror of that sound. It was sweet, soft, feminine, melodious, and nothing on earth terrified her more.</p><p> </p><p>A delicate hand ran its fingers along the side of her face. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re so cold…” the voice whispered. </p><p> </p><p>She tried to speak. She tried to move. She’d long since given up on attempting either but this made her want to try again. It was to no avail though. </p><p> </p><p>Two hands turned Illya over on her back, her body limply complying with the motions. It was there she saw the presence before her. A woman with silken white hair, piercing red eyes just like her own, a living doll that looked like it was made of porcelain. The face she’d seen in endless nightmares that had twisted and contorted itself in unimaginable ways. </p><p> </p><p>Her mother.</p><p> </p><p>She smiled at her daughter softly, tears forming in her eyes. Was this some sort of trick? Had Illya already died? Was this her fate?</p><p> </p><p>“I’m so sorry,” she said, the tears pouring from her eyes as she visibly choked back a sob. </p><p> </p><p>This wasn’t right. What was this? This woman before her… it wasn’t the spirit that had tormented her for years on end. It was something different. Something she hadn’t seen before, and yet it was familiar. </p><p> </p><p>Was this…?</p><p> </p><p>“I owe you so much more than this,” Irisveil said, pausing as she found herself unable to speak, “I love you, Illya,”</p><p> </p><p>She pulled up her daughter into a tight embrace. Illya croaked out a noise that signaled her utter shock, unable to do anything more. She couldn’t return the hug, but she felt the closeness of her mother. The warmth. The thing she had dreamed about for years. And still, here she was, unable to reciprocate the gesture.</p><p> </p><p>What was happening?</p><p> </p><p>Her mother became encased in a bright, glowing light that nearly blinded Illya. Her unblinking stare forced to reckon with the sheer magnitude and brilliance of it. Irisveil clutched at her daughter even tighter, never wanting to let her go. She didn’t want this to be the end, and she would’ve done anything for it not to be.</p><p> </p><p>But it was.</p><p> </p><p>She found solace in that moment. Peace, of some kind, no matter how bittersweet. She shut her eyes tightly, afraid just as her daughter had been at what would come next. The fear of blinking out of existence clawed at her, but not nearly as much as the joy she felt at finally seeing Illya. </p><p> </p><p>Illya was overwhelmed as the light that erupted from her mother seemed to overtake and swallow her. A surge throughout her body could be felt, a warmth like no other. She was finally allowed to shut her eyes as the light seemed to pour into the hole in her chest, washing over her as the pain and stillness seemed to evaporate. Her consciousness was flooded with an overload of stimuli of all kinds. Every nerve felt as if it were exploding, a wall of sound felt like it was crushing her and would make her deaf, it almost felt like she was being torn apart. And yet, she did not feel pain. </p><p> </p><p>And then, nearly as abruptly as it came, it was gone. Silence.</p><p> </p><p>Illya found herself flat on her back, but now with the sudden wherewithal to sit up and move. She jolted upright, looking around to see if anyone else was there. She found herself alone in the empty room, shaking and terrified at whatever had just transpired.</p><p> </p><p>“M-Mom?” she pitifully squeaked as she found herself able to talk.</p><p> </p><p>She placed her hand on where her wound had been. A wound that was no longer there. The blood caked her outfit and skin still, but there wasn't a scratch on her. </p><p> </p><p>Illya could do nothing but sit there, utterly mystified and entirely confused. She had no idea what had just happened, and emotionally, it was far too much to have any specific response. It was all just more than she could handle.</p><p> </p><p>A tear trickled down her cheek. It felt icy, as if it would drop from her chin and turn to a snowflake when it’s contact with her skin ceased.</p><p> </p><p>She was alive. </p><p> </p><p>Illyasviel Von Einzbern had survived the Fifth Holy Grail War.</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Zouken Matou sat in his study, swirling a glass of whisky in his hand as he watched the dark liquid ease itself around the large, singular piece of ice he’d placed inside it. He’d had a few that evening, which was uncharacteristic of him. He didn’t drink, normally. His diminished senses and unique metabolism meant that alcohol did very little for him, and yet there was a primal edge that was taken off by it. </p><p> </p><p>He was seething, still. His plan to win the Holy Grail war had yet again fallen through. The Tohsaka girl proved to be faulty, just like her uncle. At least Kariya had the decency to curl up and die so Zouken didn’t have to trouble himself with him any further. </p><p> </p><p>Zouken hadn’t kept close enough tabs on the other participants to get a full picture of what exactly happened. He was far too focused on making sure things on his end were secure. The Grail War had always been a disaster. A sordid affair full of heroes and scoundrels of all shapes and sizes, all with ideals and values and loads of other nonsense that did nothing but complicate matters. He was in it for the prize, as any sensible mage would be. All the talk of heroics and honor bored him, which made him happy he was little more than an observer because it did nothing but irritate him. The rules of the Grail War always ended up being broken, there were always double-standards or exceptions, and it made playing this particular game feel like four-dimensional chess where every contestant was blindfolded. Ridiculous.</p><p> </p><p>The girl hadn’t shown herself back at his estate. He didn’t know how or why, as she was bound to him. At least, she had been. Maybe she’d grown strong enough to be free of him, but that much felt unlikely if she still wasn’t strong enough to win. He couldn’t locate her, so maybe she’d died in the conflict along with that useless fool Shinji. Another asset lost. Shame.</p><p> </p><p>The door to his study opened, breaking the night ambience of the fireplace and his much-desired solitude. He’d told the servants not to disturb him, which furthered his already irritable state. He didn’t want to have to punish someone, it was too much work, but a target to take out his frustrations on… that would’ve been something. </p><p> </p><p>He turned in his desk chair to see a surprising sight in his doorway. It wasn’t the Tohsaka he had on his mind the past week, but instead the other. The sister.</p><p> </p><p>She stood in the doorway dressed rather unusually. An entirely black outfit that didn’t look at all in keeping with what someone her age would’ve worn. A black turtleneck sweater, black cargo pants, boots, and even fingerless gloves. Her hair had been tied into a ponytail behind her head, and her aquamarine eyes blazed in his direction even with the relatively minimal lighting in the room. </p><p> </p><p>“How the hell did you manage to get in here?” Zouken asked, more amused than annoyed.</p><p> </p><p>Rin scoffed.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m here now. Does that really matter?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>The girl always had an intense aura about her. She spoke with venom and contempt, understandably so. She was a girl who couldn’t possibly understand her father’s sacrifice in giving away her sister to Zouken. She may have been a proud mage, but she understood nothing when it came to the importance of the continuation of legacy. In her position, she should have, but this new generation of magi was hopeless.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose not,” Zouken mused, “Judging by that getup you aren’t here for friendly conversation,”</p><p> </p><p>She sneered.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I’m not,” she said, carefully closing the door behind her as she stepped closer to the man.</p><p> </p><p>He cackled, almost setting down his glass but electing not to, just to see how this was going to play out. He began to properly face her, still not bothering to get out of his chair.</p><p> </p><p>“Ohoho look at you,” he said, “Survive one Grail War and all of a sudden you fancy yourself an assassin?”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at him with as much contempt as anyone had. Not even Kariya had eyes as harsh as hers. In fact, she bore a startling resemblance to her uncle at that moment. Zouken briefly wondered if Rin even remembered the man. </p><p> </p><p>“So you’ve come to kill me then?” he asked, “Alright, out with it. Why? Revenge?”</p><p> </p><p>Rin took several steps forward, face harder than stone, walking around Zoukan’s centuries-old ornate wooden desk, and stood nearly a few feet from him. He sized her up, and as soon as the two made direct eye contact, Rin Tohsaka spat in his face.</p><p> </p><p>Never in a million years would Rin have seen herself doing something so vulgar and undignified, but the last few weeks had changed her in more than a few ways.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t owe you an explanation,” she said, pointing at Zouken’s face and raising her thumb upward.</p><p> </p><p>A gemstone from a pouch attached to her belt sprang forward, floating in front of her finger as it shone with a bright purple light. A curious armament, but an effective one. Magical jewels were expensive items that typically barred most mages from mastering them, but not her. </p><p> </p><p>“You think you can just walk in here and expect me not to put up a fight?” Zouken growled, “What makes you think I won’t kill you right now?”</p><p> </p><p>She smirked. She smirked in a way that made Zouken <em> livid. </em></p><p> </p><p>“Because you like to hear yourself talk too much to get to the point,” she said, “And because you’re too stupid to realize drinking the same bottle of whisky every night leaves you susceptible to poisoning,”</p><p> </p><p>Zouken’s eyes widened. He gripped the glass in his hand tightly.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re bluffing,” he said, a bead of sweat rolling down his forehead.</p><p> </p><p>“Am I?” Rin asked with an insufferable grin.</p><p> </p><p>He looked at his glass and back at the girl. He felt no different than he had any other night he had consumed the drink. Surely he hadn’t had enough to kill him yet. He would’ve noticed that.</p><p> </p><p>“If I knew how to get in here without setting off any alarms, totally under the radar, what makes you think I couldn’t have done it all last night after you went to bed at… approximately 11:45?” she asked, assumingly rhetorically.</p><p> </p><p>Zouken had enough already. This young woman was playing games with him. He didn’t need anything but his mind to effectively utilize his magic circuits. He attempted to move a tome on the bookshelf behind her and hit her on the back of the head. As he concentrated on it, just as he had done hundreds of times before, he struggled.</p><p> </p><p>Nothing happened.</p><p> </p><p>“Having trouble?” she asked, seeing him furrow his brow.</p><p> </p><p>His hatred for the girl burned hotter, hotter than it had for anyone in years.</p><p> </p><p>“What have you done, girl?” he asked, voice crackling with fury.</p><p> </p><p>“The poison won’t kill you. But it will dull your magical circuits for about two hours, making you entirely useless,” she remarked with a frighteningly casual air.</p><p> </p><p>His gaze narrowed. What was her gain here?</p><p> </p><p>“Why not just poison me then, hm?” he asked, partially fearing her answer.</p><p> </p><p>She chuckled. </p><p> </p><p>“So I can do this,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>She pointed her finger not at Zokan’s head, but now his left kneecap. Without hesitating, she fired the stone like a bullet from a gun into his knee. Before the old mage could fully howl in pain, another stone was telekinetically summoned from her pouch, and she fired it into his other knee. </p><p> </p><p>Zouken hissed in agony, but in his pain, he didn’t realize Rin had leaned forward and grabbed him by his shirt collar. She lifted him up as though he was a feather, and tossed his weakened body over the desk and onto the floor. Rather than wailing in pain, he propped himself up on one arm and gazed at the girl who was now walking towards him like a predator about to finish off its prey. </p><p> </p><p>“So Sakura is dead, then?” he snarled.</p><p> </p><p>Rin stopped, cocking an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Sakura is....” she trailed off momentarily, “None of <em> your </em> concern anymore, pig,” </p><p> </p><p>She continued her advance, and Zouken froze. He couldn’t move even if he wanted to, but he was mostly just paralyzed out of fear. He had spent so much of his centuries-old existence prideful and assured of his power, so much so that he never had to fear death. Now he was looking it straight in the face. </p><p> </p><p>“I would have poisoned you, but you deserved worse for what you did to her,” she said, “If I didn’t have to be quick about this, and if I wasn’t so eager to be rid of you, I would’ve made this last a lot longer. Believe me, I’ve been thinking about plenty of ways to do it these past few weeks,”</p><p> </p><p>Zouken laughed. Not out of character for him, but it was transparently a facade.</p><p> </p><p>“Is that it, then? Because I made your sister a stronger mage?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“You <em> tormented </em> her. You… you <em> violated </em>her. You let your disgusting grandson hurt her. You’re a pathetic old fuck,” she said, her voice nearly breaking when she spoke of Sakura.</p><p> </p><p>“Pathetic, am I?” he said, nervous laughter ensuing as his blood began to pool, “I’m one of the oldest, most powerful men in the world. Even if you manage to kill me, you can’t erase what I achieved. What the Matou clan has done. What we’ve given to our kind,”</p><p> </p><p>Another gem floated in front of Rin, and she pointed her finger straight at his head.</p><p> </p><p>“A pathetic man in his last moments trying to justify his own miserable existence. You’re a cancer on this world,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>His laugh became a bit of a wheeze.</p><p> </p><p>“A man who still ruined your life. Destroyed your family ever since that miserable uncle of yours wanted to play hero,” he said, struggling with every word.</p><p> </p><p>Rin paused for a moment.</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me,” he continued, “What does that make me, then? If I am pathetic… if I am a cancer, what are you? So weak you were ruined by the likes of me? Call me what I am girl, a man powerful enough to have toppled regimes and dethrone kings that <em> you </em> managed to get one lucky opportunity to defeat. If I’m pathetic, then you are a <em> worm. </em> Your sister is <em> nothing! </em>I am the head of the Matou clan! I am more powerful than any other man in this world! I was able to bend you, your wretched father, your stupid sister, your bitch mother, and even you to my whim with nothing more than words! What does all that make me? Hm?”</p><p> </p><p>It really was no more than desperation. Rin saw the pain in his eyes. The fear. Maybe even a shade of regret that faded as soon as it was detected. In his last moments, he was merely fishing for an acknowledgment. A desperate plea that his hardships had been worth something.</p><p> </p><p>A plea that would go unanswered.</p><p> </p><p>Rin sighed, and then cracked a sly smile. She fired the gem straight into Zouken Matou’s head. It traveled at top speed right between his eyes, leaving a hole the size of a thimble in his head that began to leak blood as soon as his body crumpled to the floor.</p><p> </p><p>“It makes you a waste of my time,” Rin said as she walked past the corpse of the Matou patriarch, delivering another spiteful spit onto his corpse as she left the room, disappearing from the estate. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Windows</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Shirou, Rin, and Sakura settle back into their daily lives after the war, an offer from the Clock Tower has Rin and Shirou both rethinking their future. Additionally, the main trio are greeted by Illyasviel, whose miraculous survival has yielded more than just a second chance. Once everyone is on the same page and arrangements are in order, a Clock Tower representative takes statements on what exactly transpired over the last month.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow... that was longer than expected. I've been hard at work with my Fire Emblem fic and publishing my most recent novel on Amazon, but that did not stop this from being a behemoth. This is gonna be fun.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Shirou had a hard time adjusting to normalcy again. He’d trained himself to be sharp and ready at a moment’s notice, so letting his guard down was something that took patience. Looking at the normal world after seeing what he’d seen was… jarring, to say the least. The full extent of the world of mages was something that was so alien to him for most of his life. He’d practiced his limited magecraft for years and had vague notions of what the world was like because of his adopted father, but now? It was like he was living in a place he didn’t recognize. Nearly dying multiple times was also rather… eye-opening, to put it mildly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few weeks after the war, he did his best to settle down into a schedule again. He was keeping in close contact with both Rin and Sakura just since they had all grown closer during the last month or so, and it was for that very reason that he found himself getting coffee with the elder Tohsaka sibling that cold Saturday afternoon. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasn’t entirely sure why, either. It was a little strange, Rin asking that out of the blue. He was positive that if he asked to meet her unexpectedly that she would’ve scolded him. Not that it would’ve been that big of a deal. He was used to that by now. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fuyuki City was unusually cold this time of year, but Shiro had always liked snow. It put him at ease. The white blanket around everything invoked a kind of serenity that made him think about the days when he’d sit on the back porch with his father. It made him feel secure, and as of late, he really needed that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was there first, punctual as ever, and Shirou had to admit it was nice now that she was less prickly around him AND there wasn’t a war looming over the both of them. Rin was no saint, but she was a good friend when she allowed herself to open up a bit more. He still found himself mildly nervous around her, as he knew conversations with Rin were a bit like trying not to step on a landmine. He didn’t want to cause her any stress, even if she bordered on being unreasonable sometimes. She had a hard enough life as it was, from what he knew. It didn’t help that he was a bit dense and far too aloof for his own good. Thankfully, since meeting each other, both of them became a bit more aware of their faults when it came to socializing. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He sat down at the seat across from her at the table outside next to the window. She was dressed in a crimson (of course) coat and a knit cap, whereas he just wore a grey hoodie. Despite the cold, even while snowing, the temperature tended not to bother him. The same could not be said for her, as she was rubbing her hands together over the mug of hot liquid she’d been given by the waitress.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou eyed inside the establishment, which was full to the brim. Looked like there really were no other options. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Shirou greeted as he sat down, passively signaling to the waitress that he didn’t want anything when she saw Rin had someone join her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin eyed the waitress and then Shirou, furrowing her brow. She leaned back in her seat and looked at the woman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He’s kidding, he’ll have a scone,” Rin said. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou didn’t even object, he just looked confused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You look skinny,” she remarked, “You’re not growing negligent on my watch, moron,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou kind of felt secure, hearing Rin rib on him slightly. Playful banter was always nice. He also was a little hungry, and was unsure why he decided to say he didn’t want anything. Rin’s past accusations of him being thoughtless were a little bit more on-point than he would’ve liked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, you been okay?” she asked, looking at him over her glasses as she sipped her drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou nearly answered, but the waitress was already back with his scone, served on a clean white dish with a fork and a disposable napkin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“As okay as I can be, I guess,” Shirou said with a small shrug before taking a bite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded in acknowledgment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good. Been practicing magic any?” she asked curiously.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded whilst taking another bite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Certainly been a lot easier,” he said, thinking back to the many times in his backyard where he accidentally conjured a sword when he got a little too enthusiastic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your circuits are aligning properly now. It gets easier as you do it more,” she assured him, “But I have to ask… to what end are you practicing for, exactly?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She always got right to the point. Shirou appreciated that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To what end?” he repeated, “Well I mean, theoretically I’d-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Want to be a hero? Somehow?” Rin slyly interrupted, giving the boy a wink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He nodded. It was a vague proposition and he didn’t have the slightest clue about how he was going to go about it, but he figured he’d cross that bridge when he came to it. He had to get stronger, first and foremost. He knew he could get there, after all. The Holy Grail War, if nothing else, presented definitive proof that Shiro could achieve what he wanted. And reassured him that the world would need people like him, if there was that kind of evil running amok. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Shiro answered, “Sounds a little silly when you say it so plainly like that,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin chuckled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It </span>
  <em>
    <span>is </span>
  </em>
  <span>silly. Incredibly noble and sickeningly selfless, but also very silly-sounding,” she said with both levity and sincerity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou blushed a little, knowing his idealism was a bit… naive, by most measures. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well hey, is it sillier than wanting to become the strongest mage in the world? Or… whatever it is that you want to do?” Shirou asked, trailing off a bit at the end as he realized he didn’t know what she wanted beyond the Holy Grail War.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin scoffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m ambitious, Shirou, I’m not trying to rule the world,” she said dismissively as she took another sip, “But I think we can help each other, considering our goals,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou couldn’t wait to hear this. He leaned forward with an encouraging smile that Rin returned. If she admired anything above all else in her classmate, it was his utilitarian approach to communication. Never a word wasted, if one was even necessary at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m taking a gap year,” she said, “Well… kinda,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou’s confusion returned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“A gap year? I thought that was for kids in college?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right you are,” she explained, “Except, because of my involvement in the Grail War, the Mage Association has taken an interest in me. As well as the other surviving participants of the Grail War,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou’s eyes widened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That includes me?” he asked hesitantly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yes. So much so that they’re allowing me to take a year’s long internship program. They’ve been able to sort it out with Homurahara Academy in an official capacity. The ‘gap year’ isn’t so much a ‘gap year’ as it is an opportunity to rub elbows with the right people,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shiro couldn’t help but feel a bit of residual excitement for her. He didn’t know what Rin wanted to do, specifically, but this was a great opportunity for her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, where do I fit into all this?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t being a little selfish-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou made an active effort not to make a snarky comment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“-but it would look pretty outstanding on my resume if I had an apprentice. A testament to my abilities as an instructor,” she finished.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“An apprentice?” Shirou asked, baffled she was willing to engage with such an idea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re already pretty capable but you’ve been teaching yourself your entire life. If you wanna be a hero, you’ve gotta cover your bases. Might as well be me who teaches them to you,” she said casually.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re gonna be doing an internship and teach me? Sounds like a lot, Rin. I wouldn’t want you to overwork yourself,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her patented smile crept across her face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m a Tohsaka, Shiro. I’ll manage. I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t think I could,” she reassured him, “Besides, you’re already plenty talented. It will only reflect well on me if they think I taught you everything you know,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shiro chuckled. Now </span>
  <em>
    <span>that </span>
  </em>
  <span>made a little more sense.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he thought about it, he really didn’t know what his </span>
  <em>
    <span>plan </span>
  </em>
  <span>was for how his future was going to play out. He knew he could do it, theoretically, but he needed direction. The idea of having Rin provide that for him was definitely tempting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So they can just send a letter to school and I can study under you? Just like that?” he asked, really considering the offer as the gears in his head turned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Just like that,” she said, “I know they’re sending someone to ask us about what happened, just for an official report, so we can sort out the finer details whenever they arrive. I got a letter this morning saying they wanted to talk with the four of us,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shiro turned his head a bit as he finished his scone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Four of us?” he inquired, under the impression that himself, Rin, and Sakura were the only survivors.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin sighed. In her letter, she had been informed of a few things regarding a certain bloodline of a certain young mage who against all odds, managed to survive her ordeal with Gilgamesh. She had to take a second look at the information disclosed to make sure she was reading it right, but there was no mistaking it. It was common for letters from the Mage Association and affiliated establishments to address people by their name, bloodline, and parentage. An old custom that had never really gone away. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you can, please inform Sakura Matou, daughter of Tokiomi and Aoi Tohsaka, Shirou Emiya, son of unknown parties, and Illyasviel Von Einzbern, daughter of Kiritsugu Emiya and Irisviel Von Einzbern of our impending arrival. We wish to record an account of events for the sake of clarity and would like to speak with you all. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin saw the last name, and remembered who Shirou said his father was. She did one hell of a double-take upon reading it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Rin said hesitantly, her posture tightening up as she finally got around to the real reason she called to meet Shiro in person today, “About that…” </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura loved being in an environment where she actually felt at home. It had been so long since she had felt that way anywhere. In fact, she couldn’t even remember if she had ever truly felt that at all. It was so new to her, and she was infinitely grateful for it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took about two weeks of proper treatment to get Sakura on her feet again. Undoing years of Zouken’s abuse on her body wasn’t easy, but Rin managed as best she could. Disabling her circuits, flushing everything out of her system, and realigning them had nearly killed the elder Tohsaka sibling, but she’d done as good of a job as anyone was capable of doing. If Sakura ever had any doubts about how her sister felt about her, or just how deep her devotion ran, they were put to rest when she’s risked her life to help purge the toxins and worms from her body. Sakura couldn’t use magic for a while, but she didn’t mind. Her life on a day-to-day basis wasn’t affected.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d permanently moved in with Rin the second she offered, which was literal hours after the war ended. When she asked about Zouken, Rin simply told her she would take care of it, and nothing surrounding the matter was spoken on after that. Sakura saw the look in her sister’s eyes whenever he was mentioned, and that was all the information she needed. After her surprising lack of feeling at Shinji’s death, she found it within herself to stop feeling sorry for the people who had done nothing but hurt her. They were not deserving of her kindness or devotion. It was still something she found hard to accept, as she was still humble and soft-spoken, but her sister had begun to rub off on her. Rin was also far more encouraging than anyone in her life had been previously, which was a godsend. She’d been busy lately, understandably so, but tried to make time for Sakura whenever she could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Discovering Rin had actually missed her was perhaps the best thing to come from all of this. Neither one of them had to maintain the facade anymore. There were no more secrets. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She still spent too much time alone for her liking, but Rin promised it would be over soon. It was nice being in the Tohsaka manor, and on that winter afternoon, she’d managed to curl up on the couch downstairs and bury herself in a book. It was a simple luxury that hadn’t been afforded to her in some time. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She was so absorbed in what she was doing, she almost didn’t hear the knock at the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Despite being skittish, Sakura stood up and walked to the entrance of her new home with a degree of confidence. Her sense of belonging felt natural, whereas a month ago she would’ve felt out of place, and probably would’ve dreaded the idea of answering the door in such a new environment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She opened the door and found not a postman or a solicitor, but a young woman.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked familiar, but Sakura couldn’t quite put her finger on where (or if) she had seen her before. She put the notion that she might have known her already to bed quickly, as even a quick glance at the girl assured her that she would’ve remembered her. Her hair was, somehow, whiter than the literal snow that was currently coating the streets outside. She was pale, had these incredible ruby-red eyes, and wore a rather adorable fluffy purple coat. For someone as striking as her, she somehow looked unassuming, exuding a careful, quiet energy that Sakura had seen in her own reflection many times. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She looked about Rin’s age, maybe a year or so older. Her features were delicate, so much so that Sakura nearly recoiled at the sight of her, afraid her natural clumsiness would somehow break the girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, can I help you?” Sakura asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl’s face brightened upon being spoken to. It was like she was happy just to hear another human being’s voice. Sakura figured she was projecting a little, since she was certainly well-acquainted with that feeling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, hi. Wow, you’re cute,” the girl clumsily let out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The awkward tension between the two was now palpable as Sakura lightly blushed. She did not expect that from a stranger, and Illya certainly didn’t expect that to be the first thing she said when interacting with another person for the first time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m uh... hi. Yeah. I’m Illyasviel Von Einzbern,” she said enthusiastically, in a hurry to forget about her faux pas, “Is this the Tohsaka residence? I’m super bad with directions,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had an awkward, expressive smile. She somehow managed to emote with every single muscle in her face. Sakura could only think to describe her as ‘animated’</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It is,” Sakura answered apprehensively.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, okay. Do you happen to know where Rin is? At least I think that was her name… I’d like to talk with her, if she isn’t busy,” she requested, making an effort to sound more polite.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura eased up a bit on the nervousness. This was probably an upperclassmen friend of Rin’s. Hardly surprising. Even though Rin wasn’t actively very social, she was a popular girl. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You actually just missed her,” Sakura said, “She went out to get coffee with a friend. I think she’ll be back in an hour or so, though,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya nodded, snapping her fingers as she pursed her lips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Damn. Well, this is awkward,” Illya said, blinking as she made eye contact with Sakura.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn’t really know what to do. Rin had told her this was now Sakura’s home just as much as it was her own, but did that extend to something like this? Would Rin be okay with it? The girl seemed friendly enough, and she didn’t want to send her away if Rin was going to be back relatively soon.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And then there was the fact that this girl seemed rather oblivious, and didn’t look like she was eager to leave…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You can wait inside, it shouldn’t be too long before she’s back,” she finally offered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya lit up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s so nice of you! Thanks!” she said, a spring in her step as Sakura stepped aside and let her in. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya walked inside and looked around, her lips forming a little ‘o’ as she eyed everything. The ornate furnishings, the prominent wood finish on the floors and walls, the occasional magical object or heirloom disguised in plain sight, everything Sakura had once looked at similarly. She contemplated showing the snow-haired girl their library just to see her reaction. Maybe later.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow, cozy little place you guys got here!” she said after an impressed whistle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>‘Cozy’ was… one way of putting it, she supposed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s awfully cold out, can I offer you some tea? Coffee? Hot chocolate?” Sakura asked, eager to do something so she didn’t have to revel in how awkward she felt talking to a stranger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya looked at her with a small, but earnestly appreciative grin.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I would love some, thank you,” she said, her voice a little bit lower than it was before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This girl was… odd. The word ‘ethereal’ came to mind for reasons she couldn’t entirely pin down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya faintly hummed as she followed Sakura into the kitchen. She turned to her, seeing that she was leaning against the counter rather than sitting at the table. She couldn’t really blame her, Sakura felt awkward sitting down in other people’s homes without being explicitly told to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Did you want anything specific?” she asked her guest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya looked at her blankly, just staring for a second. She nearly shook her head to snap herself back to reality. The peculiar girl thought about it for a moment. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Uhhhh, hot chocolate actually sounds great. If it’s no trouble, I mean,” she said, quickly adding the addendum.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura nodded, grabbing the ingredients from the cabinet and fridge. It took her a moment to remember where the mugs were. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, how do you know Rin?” Sakura asked as she mixed everything together and placed the drink in the microwave. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wasn’t sure how to start conversation, or make it, generally speaking. A direct question was more than likely the best place to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we met about a month ago. Rin… kinda saved my life,” Illya said, nearly sounding ‘matter-of-fact’ about the affair.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura’s eyes widened, and she slowly turned to Illya. The timeline of that… a month ago…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Saved your life?” Sakura asked, nearly gasping.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya looked skeptical for a moment, but it faded. She gave the purple-haired girl a shrug.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, I guess that’s exaggerating a little,” she explained, “But… not really? If not for her and Shirou I probably would’ve died, so yeah. I guess she did in a way,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Fear washed over Sakura’s face, she wasn’t entirely sure how to react. How much did this girl know? How was she involved in the Grail War? She was friendly enough, which prevented her anxiety from turning into a full-blown panic, but this was still unexpected. The idea of that bloody ordeal resurfacing in any way was terrifying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya’s awkward smile returned as she saw Sakura’s visible discomfort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” she asked, “You… are a mage, aren’t you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura didn’t know how to respond. Was she? Technically, she supposed that was true. She may have been unable to use any abilities while recovering, but the title still applied to her in a basic sense. Being a mage just wasn’t part of her identity in the way it was Rin’s. But how did this girl know that, exactly?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your circuits have something wrong with them,” Illya said, “But you’ve got them… is something wrong?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The microwave beeped, and Sakura jumped up at the sound. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did you-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I can just sort of tell,” Illya said lackadaisically, her eyes suddenly growing wider, “Wait a minute, you live with Rin and you’re a mage? You must be her sister!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This girl could tell if people had circuits just by looking at them?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura was still on edge about this interaction for many reasons she couldn’t fully explain, but being called Rin’s sister filled her heart with warmth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned around, grabbing the mug from the microwave and handing it to Illya, trying her best to appear unbothered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I am. I’m Sakura. Sakura Tohsaka,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t even begin to articulate how proud of herself she was for that. It had been the first time she had said her name, her proper name, and she didn’t even stutter. It came out naturally.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well it’s nice to meet you, thanks!” she said, taking the mug and hurriedly taking a drink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She squeaked a bit as it made contact with her tongue, clearly not anticipating how hot it was going to be.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So... you helped my sister?” Sakura asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya nodded, taking a more careful sip.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We formed a temporary alliance during the Grail War,” she said very plainly, “Guess it isn’t totally accurate to say they ‘saved’ me, but they definitely did their best to keep me safe. I owe them one,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya knew it wasn’t a perfect representation of what went down. After all, she had basically been killed by Gilgamesh, but she’d seen the look on Shirou and Rin’s faces before her body hit the ground. Before that battle, things were looking up for her. They showed her kindness, which had been more than anyone else had ever given her. The fact that anyone would have any feelings about her dying whatsoever was… morbidly comforting to Ilya. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura nodded, unclear as to what all had happened during the war. Shirou and Rin did a good job at shielding her from the wake of destruction caused after Rider’s rather gruesome death. It was a complicated and messy affair, and she hardly understood half of what her sister and classmate told her. In fact, they weren’t totally sure what happened themselves.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled at the notion of her sister once again demonstrating her exceptional selflessness.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin’s made quite the habit of taking in strays lately,” Sakura said with a bemused laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Between herself, Illya, and Shirou, it was funny to think that Rin had been such a prideful lone wolf not that long ago. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You must be proud,” Illya said, “I bet it’s wonderful to have someone like that in your life,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just a bit of longing could be detected from the white-haired girl’s words. But it was nearly undetectable from behind her infectious smile. Sakura was beginning to think herself silly for being worried about her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then, as if on cue, both girls heard the sound of the front door opening. The mild chatter and murmurings of Rin and Shirou soon followed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s them,” Sakura said, walking into the living room to greet them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya, unsure of herself, tentatively followed her new acquaintance as she gripped her cup with both hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou and Rin were still talking to each other, but looked up when Sakura stepped into the room as they were taking off their coats and snow-covered boots. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Sakura,” Shirou greeted as he wrestled with his remaining boot. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She waited for them to actually look at her, which took a few seconds since they were caught up in whatever they were still discussing. However, once Illya entered the room, a small amount of hot chocolate on her upper lip, they stopped. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey guys,” Illya said with an awkward chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou’s jaw dropped, and Rin’s eyes widened in surprise. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well,” Rin muttered under her breath, “Speak of the devil,”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Seeing Illyasviel was a shock to Shirou and Rin, despite both of them now being aware she was alive. For one, it was a bit timely to run into her right after Rin had explained that she had somehow survived, and how deep their connection truly ran. The most jarring thing though, for the two of them, was how she looked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura hadn’t met her before, so she wasn’t aware of the startling difference. In the span of nearly one month, Illya had gone from looking like she was a year or two Rin and Shirou’s junior, to appearing like she was the oldest person in the room. Not by much, but it was a striking difference. She was taller, her shoulders were a bit broader, and she just generally looked far more like the age she claimed to be when they met. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After the incredibly awkward introductions were out of the way, they all sat in the living room, clearing the air about… everything. Illya’s drastic change in appearance and personality over the course of the last month certainly made it easier for everyone to talk to her. Despite being assured of her age, Rin and Shiro couldn’t ever escape the fact that it felt like they were talking to a child when they had first encountered each other. It also didn’t help that Illya was a little on the… iffy side, when it came to sanity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura took a seat in a chair as she mostly listened to the others. Shirou and Rin sat on a couch on one side of the center coffee table, and Illya sat on the other. The way she kept sipping her drink with a wide-eyed gaze when the others spoke still gave her a very child-like disposition. Seeing as she had been in a state of both physical and mental arrested development her entire life, coupled with her isolation and copious psychological abuse, Rin and Shirou figured that couldn’t be helped.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So, if you don’t mind me asking, once we left… what happened?” Rin asked, half probing for vital information and half genuinely curious.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya exhaled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I really wish I knew. I mean I know what happened, but I’m a little lacking on the finer details,” she answered, “I just sort of laid there for… wow, I don’t even know how long. Not really sure I wanna know…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She stopped for a moment, looking genuinely saddened for a moment as she recalled her experience.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Illya,” Shirou reassured, “You don’t have to tell us now if it’s hard to talk about. We understand,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin withheld her desire to press further regardless for the sake of everyone being on the same page, as she wasn’t entirely sure how much she trusted Illya. However, she knew that mistrust was really more her own problem than Illya’s, and didn’t want to project. Once she’d filled in the gaps with Shirou about her history, she learned what a hard life she must’ve had. She also knew that some of Shirou’s more understanding tendencies were something she appreciated in him, and wanted to reflect. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was also the fact that Shirou was just trying to show the girl kindness. Blood relation or no, he was her only family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s alright,” Illya said with a weak smile, eager to get through it, “I was lying there for a long time. Then… I had a vision. Or, at least, I thought it was a vision. I saw my mother,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Your mother?” Rin asked, “I thought she-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Died, yeah,” Illya finished, “Me too. That’s why I figured it had to be a vision, right? LIke how else could you explain it? But then she just sort of came to me. She picked me up, there was a bright light, and then I was healed. It was like nothing had even happened,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was… a lot to process. Rin and Shirou couldn’t even begin to make heads or tails of it. Illya clearly couldn’t either, so everyone was at least on the same page. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When you were healed, after all that happened,” Rin began, “Is that when you… uh… well…”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She gestured vaguely at Illya, who furrowed her brow as the elder Tohsaka sister looked like she was trying to communicate by miming. It took a second for her to realize what she meant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, you mean my body!” she said after giving herself a brief facepalm, “Yeah I’m a bit lost on this too. When I was healed I looked exactly the same, but once I went to bed, I just kinda… woke up like this,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That’s incredible,” Sakura quietly exclaimed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was only natural Sakura was a bit more mystified than her peers. Even Shirou was more well acquainted with the supernatural shenanigans they found themselves embroiled in. It was odd, certainly, but nothing was outside the realm of possibility for him. To Sakura, this was nothing short of alien.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, Rin, you’re smart,” Shirou said, “I take it some kind of magic made this happen?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin was definitely deep in thought, by the looks of it. She was the scholar, after all. If anyone could approximate what happened, it would be her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My guess is that it has to do with your relationship with the Grail. Or even, the Grail itself, really,” she said, the gears in her head still turning, “You have the same blood as your mother, which ties you to the Grail somehow. And when the war ended… well… it wasn’t really because anyone ‘won’- it just sort of… ended,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nature of the Grail’s disappearance and war’s official ending was perhaps the biggest mystery of all. The association and the church both were tight-lipped on the Grail War to pretty much anyone who wasn’t a participant or us lofty status. Why had there been so many of them? Why had there been a difference in the amount of time between them? </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What even </span>
  <em>
    <span>was </span>
  </em>
  <span>the Grail?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“My guess is that the Grail is defective somehow. It explains why it’s rules seem so tenuous,” she posited, “And, if I had to bet on something, your connection to it has somehow bound you to its power. There’s no magic in existence that could’ve healed your… injuries,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya briefly winced. Sakura took notice of that. What exactly happened to this poor girl that they kept alluding to? Did she want to know?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sounds as plausible as anything I could think of,” Illya said with a shrug, “I mean, I guess maybe it had to do with my mom. Somehow,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin had known about the Einzbern’s proclivity for creating Hommunculi, so this was of no shock to her. Illya’s mother had been created solely to be used as a sacrifice. The blood that ran through her mother’s veins ran through hers, and seeing as her mother was now a part of the Grail, it stood to reason that it would connect her somehow. The finer details were still hazy, but they also didn’t really matter. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But uh, anywho,” Illya continued, “I wanted to stop by and just… thank you. Both of you,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She managed to look vulnerable despite those startlingly crimson eyes. Shirou crumpled a bit under the look.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Thank us? Illya… you nearly died. We kinda failed you,” Shirou said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin could hear the pain in her friend’s voice. He would’ve reacted to this intensely no matter what, but knowing his connection to Illya only compounded the feeling. A brazen hero who believed he could save everyone, logic be damned. There was nothing they could’ve done in their circumstances, but seeing Illya be violently gored definitely churned Rin’s stomach with guilt too. She couldn’t imagine what it would’ve done to the more sensitive boy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya shook her head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You did your best, and honestly, that’s more than good enough. It’s been on my mind recently, and I just sort of realized that nobody had ever really done anything for me… like… at all. You may not have prevented it, but you gave it everything.  I… appreciate that,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya was visibly struggling to articulate her feelings, like it was the first time she’d ever explained how she’d felt about something to someone else. Mostly because it was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou refrained from a rebuttal, even though he still obviously felt guilty he couldn’t save her. He knew debating it wouldn’t do Illya any good.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I also just wanted to say that I was sorry. I attacked you guys when this all started. I was… broken. I know we moved past some of our baggage when we agreed to team up, but I just didn’t know how any of this stuff worked,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“This stuff?” Rin inquired.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya chuckled softly as she sat her empty mug on a coaster.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“People,” she said casually, “I was just angry, and scared, and lonely. I wanted to win so I could be happy, and that was all I cared about. I was a bit harsh on you, Shirou. It wasn’t like you had a say in… in the choices dad made,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A brief silence swept over them. Shirou was still dealing with the idea that the man who inspired him to be what he was, the man he revered his whole life, had done something so terrible. No matter the cause, he couldn’t think of any excuse for abandoning Illya the way he did. This conversation didn’t exactly help any of that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“But now things are different,” Illya continued, “There’s no more weird war stuff, and I’m starting to see and understand things differently. I didn’t want to leave a loose end with you two. I just don’t really know what I could possibly do to repay you for it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“With all due respect, Illya, you don’t have to repay us,” Rin said, “We were allies for tactical reasons, we’re not exactly saints,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Rin-” Shirou began but was interrupted by Illya rather swiftly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know,” she said, smile returning, “But if you hadn’t, I don’t really know where I’d be right now. Or even </span>
  <em>
    <span>if </span>
  </em>
  <span>I would be. You were nice to me a few times. It means a little more than you think,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin almost hated how sickeningly sweet she was. However, it was her sincerity that made it palatable.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So,” Sakura finally spoke, “You and Shirou… you’re siblings? Technically?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya nodded, whereas Shirou just stared blankly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In a way, I suppose. Quite estranged and not by blood,” she said, a bit of disappointment in her tone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Illya,” Shirou began as he snapped out of it, something specific clearly on his mind, “Your home was nearly destroyed… have you still been staying there this whole time?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya nodded, nervously rubbing the back of her neck.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” she said, “It’s been a little rough, not like there’s air conditioning or heating systems in castles that old, so it’s been a bit drafty because of the damage. I’ve still got my own room though,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou smiled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So… if I were to offer you a place to stay, that would be a little bit of an improvement?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya blushed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh wow, I don’t really… I mean I don’t want to seem ungrateful but that’s a lot. It’s me that owes you, remember?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sure, but I owe you just as much. And then some,” he said, “Be kind of shitty if I just let you stay locked up alone in that place,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya was taken aback.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well… I dunno. I don’t want to be an imposition,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, how about this, I would feel a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot </span>
  </em>
  <span>better if you said yes. Leaving you on your own, especially after all this, that would be a </span>
  <em>
    <span>way </span>
  </em>
  <span>worse feeling. Even </span>
  <em>
    <span>if</span>
  </em>
  <span> you were an imposition, which you wouldn’t be,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin mimicked his smile. Using his innate humility and kindness as a weapon of encouragement. He was learning from her a bit more than she expected him to.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh,” Illya said, sounding almost frightened but her face lighting up, “Well, I guess I wouldn’t want you to have any more weight on your shoulders. If that would really make you feel better,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura saw Illya’s brief flash of joy after she spoke. This is precisely what Illya wanted, even if she didn’t really know it yet. She knew that feeling better than most. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I think it’s a wonderful idea,” Sakura spoke up, “You're among friends now, after all. And family,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya looked like it was Christmas morning. She was visibly trying to contain herself, but started to fidget in place. It got better once she started talking Shirou’s leg off, while Sakura and Rin sat there and watched her begin to ask questions about his home.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin playfully rolled her eyes, which made Sakura giggle. She saw her younger sibling take a lot of vicarious joy in Shirou and Illya reuniting like this. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin sat there, content, knowing precisely why that was the case. </span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waver Velvet arrived at the Emiya residence late that Tuesday evening. It had been a very long day and he was running on very little sleep. He wanted to get this done in the afternoon so he could return home for a well-earned meal, but he sincerely underestimated his workload after rising to prominence in the Clock Tower. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He’d been trying to work on ways to ease his nerves lately. He tried everything. Calming tea with magic herbs. Elixirs. Easing off using too much magic to keep his system in check. He’d even tried cigarettes, though only got through one and threw the pack away instantly. A truly disgusting habit that did nothing but put his lungs through the wringer. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As a result, he looked dead tired. He was secretly thankful he had to put on casual clothes to blend in because of his final errand, wearing far more comfortable attire at least made this somewhat bearable. On the other hand, it made him look like he was a well-dressed vagabond with a heroin problem, seeing as he was so thin, pale, and almost dizzyingly sleepy. Thankfully, keeping up appearances was not in his itinerary when going through the normal world. He was tired of having to feel like he continually needed to prove himself despite earning his position through nothing but hard work and talent. There were people who respected him now, admired him, even. The trouble with all that was that he knew if he ever slipped up, the mage community would dismiss him as someone who bit off more than they could chew. Some people in the Clock Tower even had it out for him because he earned so much buzz. He was living proof that bloodlines were just bloodlines, and that was a message some of the higher ups didn’t like being broadcast in their tight-knit, prestigious organization. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was precisely because of all these things that Waver wasn’t looking forward to this. Having to relive the harrowing experience of the Grail War after participating in it all those years ago was bad enough. What compounded onto that is that he was familiar with the Tohsaka name. His experiences with the three biggest families in the magical community had been… unpleasant, to say the least. This Rin girl was more than likely cut from the same cloak as her father, and her sister was technically a member of not just one of the families, but two! He had grown to appreciate confidence and believe in oneself far more than he used to, because of the teachings of someone who had once been a great friend to him, but Waver had no time for pride. There was a fine line between confidence and arrogance, and he was quite quite tired of being subject to the latter instead of the former. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then of course there was the Einzbern girl, whose inclusion meant that Waver would technically be meeting with a member of all three noble families. He didn’t even know there was an Einzbern that young, as the only younger member of the bloodline he knew had died in the war he fought in. There was also the final participant with the last name ‘Emiya’- which sounded familiar to Waver, but he wasn’t sure how. He must’ve been a first generation mage considering his parentage was totally unknown. Waver also didn’t have patience for hapless idiots, even if he still had a degree of sympathy for them, and hoped this boy wouldn’t turn out to be one. Perhaps his lack of magical blood would make his interrogation more tolerable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was odd, being in a place like this after being in Westminster for so long. It brought back more memories of the war, the old couple he’d stayed with, and casually interacting with Rider in their downtime. It was humble, but he liked the charming simplicity. Most mages he knew would’ve tossed their noses up and called the place ‘droll’- the insufferable bastards. It was like everything that wasn’t enchanted or hexed was just utterly worthless to them. Waver was by no means the model of sparkling personality, but he couldn’t help but think his coworkers and superiors would be dreadfully boring at parties. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He arrived at the front door, illuminated by nothing but the closest lamplight. He knocked, adjusting his posture to appear slightly more professional. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A girl with deep purple hair and a shy smile answered the door. She wore an apron, and quickly bowed before Waver could do anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Mr. Lord El-Melloi sir,” she greeted, “Welcome,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t help but feel a bit modest for that kind of greeting. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hello, miss…?” he asked, awaiting an introduction.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl blinked and then realized she had forgotten to mention her name. Waver heard an airy giggle inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sakura. Sakura Tohsaka,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waver furrowed his brow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Tohsaka? I thought you the name was-”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Before Waver could finish, a brunette girl popped into view right next to her. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“She’s getting the name changed. It’s a bit confusing, apologies. Rin Tohsaka,” she said, outstretching her hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waver was taken aback by her enthusiasm. He cleared his throat upon entering, finding a young red-haired man wearing an identical apron to Sakura’s and a pale girl with ruby eyes sitting at the table on the floor. The young man was frying something that smelled quite appetizing, and the girl was watching the television intently, her knees pulled up to her so she could rest her chin on them. He wasn’t sure she even noticed him enter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Apologies, Lord El-Melloi,” Rin said, “I would have been more than happy to have you as a guest in my home but </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone </span>
  </em>
  <span>decided to microwave themselves hot chocolate this morning and left the spoon in the mug while heating it,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The white-haired girl finally turned her attention towards the entrance, jumping up quickly and standing at attention with a minor flush in her cheeks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“In my defense, I had never used a microwave before,” she said, “Hello Lord El-Melloi,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“And I’ve never put out a fire before,” the boy who he assumed was Shirou said, turning around, “Would you like some fried rice, sir? It’s nothing fancy but it tastes good,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Waver’s stomach was in dire need of basically anything at this point. He would’ve eaten roadkill if offered, but thankfully that sounded like it would hit the spot. It almost entirely went over his head that the letter he got that morning about the sudden location change for the debriefing was because the Einzbern girl had non-magically set Rin’s kitchen aflame. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“To be frank, I absolutely would,” Waver said, finding himself pleasantly surprised that he didn’t immediately get put off by any of the kids.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kids… </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It really only then hit him that every survivor of the Grail War wasn’t even out of high school yet. All of them began to stand up and gather as they grabbed plates and drinks, and Waver lagged behind apprehensively. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They were no older than he was when he’d been in the war.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>The impromptu meal was, by all accounts, splendid. Shirou and Sakura were no strangers to making food, and the others were happy to reap the benefits. Thankfully most of the time spent eating, because conversations suddenly felt a bit more… lofty. With Waver around, despite him seeming content and amicable, they were all on pins and needles the whole time. They didn’t have a reason to worry, none of them had done anything wrong, nobody was hiding anything, but the presence of Lord Melloi II was enough to add some tension in the air. Illya’s attention drifted off towards the tv again almost instantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once everyone was finished, Waver explained to everyone that he’d take one of them aside into a room by themselves and record their testimonies. He made it quite clear that Clock Tower wasn’t trying to fish information out of them, they were just real sticklers for rules and didn’t like how there had been such a grey area about previous Grail Wars. This put everyone more at ease, as did Waver’s generally non-intimidating disposition, but the nerves didn’t fail completely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou offered to go first, and handled it like a champ. Waver maintained a solid but approachable front and the boy gave an honest recount… even if that recount included a lot of ‘then X happened and I’m not really sure why’- it gave Waver a bit of a blast from the past. He remembered what it was like to be Shirou. Albeit, a far less powerful version of Shirou, from the sounds of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The debacle with the heroic spirit that was a future version of himself was certainly interesting. It definitely convinced him something was up with the Grail, something more sinister than usual. He couldn’t imagine being in the boys shoes in that respect. If the version of himself that had participated all those years ago met his current self, what exactly would happen? He didn’t think on it much, but he certainly would’ve told his younger self to stop whining so damn much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou left, assuring the others it was standard procedure, and Illya volunteered herself. Her recount was obviously far shorter than Shirou’s (and assumedly Rin’s) because of what happened, but the longer she spoke, the more nerve-wracked Waiver became. He finally recognized her. At least, in a sense he did. There was a woman he’d briefly encountered in the war who was the spitting image of the girl, and considering her full name, that left him no choice but to determine that the woman he met had been her mother. He elected to say nothing, as he didn’t interact with her significantly, but he felt a pang of guilt nonetheless. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The girl was strange. In many ways, she reminded him of Iskandar, his old friend. She was far less loud, but she had a bright, shimmering charisma about her that combined with an endearing aloofness. Perhaps the bi-product of being alone for so long. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura went after that, taking the least amount of time as she had the least involvement. When asked about the disappearance of her former guardian Zouken, she merely shook her head and said she hadn’t seen him since the start of the war. When Waver remarked that she didn’t sound particularly concerned, she was curt, telling him she wasn’t. Zouken wasn’t well-liked even by the staunchest of traditionalist mages, a cruel old man who dabbled in dark magic any sensible mage would’ve stayed far away from. The magical community wouldn’t miss him, but that didn’t mean they wanted to drop it altogether. People like him didn’t just vanish, but people like him also weren’t generally missed all that often either. Regardless, he could glean that Sakura wasn’t involved with his disappearance. She seemed timid, but she was surprisingly confident in her delivery.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Rin was last, as she knew she’d be the longest. Recounting her history with the now-dead priest, Kirei Kotomine, was something she knew she had to do but definitely didn’t want to. The Church and the Association weren’t exactly on great terms, but they had to know what exactly happened to the man, who’d officially gone down as the previous Grail War’s ‘winner’- if one could even truly call it that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sakura, who was awfully tired, elected to go to bed in the spare bedroom just because she’d been hard at work all day. Shirou assured her it was fine and cleaned up the kitchen as he usually did, and meanwhile, Illyasviel wandered around the house.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t done a lot of exploring. Half because it wasn’t very big, and half because she still couldn’t get used to being in a place like that. It was different, warmer, more utilitarian, and generally more… human. She simply couldn’t get accustomed to it, though she was trying. It wasn’t unpleasant, but like a lot of things dealing with her new body and her new environment, it was alien to her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Normally Taiga was there too, which was a bit of a problem. She was incredibly nice to her, especially when Shirou explained she was Kiritsugu’s biological daughter, so it wasn’t a matter of how she was treated. Occasionally, the rambunctious woman would look at her with these incredibly sad eyes, and it made her feel uncomfortable or like she had done something wrong. There was an unspoken tension between the two, which lead to Illya sticking to her room and finding something to read, a habit she had held onto since she was a small child. Now, however, she was given a bit more freedom after she wished Sakura goodnight.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knew she probably wasn’t supposed to be snooping about in Shirou’s room, but clearly her mischievous side was something inherent to her character and wasn’t a result of her being emotionally stunted. She was curious about the boy now that they were living together, especially considering she had time to learn about him and who he was outside the context of potential imminent death.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She liked him, and something about their relationship felt very… natural. Shirou was naturally protective of everyone in his life, to a fault. The Grail War proved that beyond the shadow of a doubt. He even worried for Rin, who had clearly demonstrated she was by and far the most competent of all of them, all things said and done. Naturally this extended to Illya as well, but now it came more organically. He was always a little frightened by the girl because of their first encounter, not that she blamed him any, but any sense of duty he had to keep her safe was now totally unbound. Perhaps it was guilt, but she liked to think he was trying his best at being a sibling. Even though she was older by a year, he was clearly trying to fill the role of ‘big brother’- which she appreciated. The recognition of this made her feel like he cared, which was nice, but it allowed her to sort of feel like a proper big sister, despite the obvious contradiction. She sort of entertained him in letting him treat her like she was fragile. She could tell it made him feel better about not being able to save her initially. He was never suffocating and respected her boundaries, but she could tell he was holding back. It was nice, and she would’ve been lying if she said she didn’t find the attempts very charming.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Then there was Rin and Sakura, whom she thankfully also got along with. Setting Rin’s kitchen ablaze wasn’t that big a deal, thankfully, the girl was trying to be understanding and reign in her notorious temper, something her friends and sister were eager to avoid flaring up. She could tell that she respected Illya as a mage, which gave them a sort of friendly rivalry when it came to how they practiced magic. They had different approaches which led to some stimulating conversations and ideas about how to synthesize their work, which went totally over Shirou and Sakura’s heads. Sakura, on the other hand, seemed a bit shy with Illya. She was nice and courteous, of course, but Illya seemed to be the only one she was her old, slightly quieter self around. It had only been a few days, so it was too early to gage, but Illya wanted to do her best to remedy that. Since Rin was going to be taking on Shirou as an apprentice after winter break ended, they had tossed around the idea of Illya helping Sakura when she could properly use her circuits again. Both girls hesitantly said they would be interested, but both knew they’d have to have a sort of ‘trial run’ to see if they could work together like that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Regardless, she was content. The past few days had been modest, which she found positively delightful. Domesticity truly did have it’s perks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou’s room hardly yielded anything truly juicy or interesting. The boy was organized, simple, and straight as an arrow. Bed was clean, shelves were only half-filled with books, (some literary, some magic-related) and he simply didn’t have a lot of possessions. Though, if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>did </span>
  </em>
  <span>have anything interesting, it would probably be out in the shed where he said he summoned Saber, the place where he often practiced magic.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya had very nearly decided to leave the room as she yawned, slightly disappointed she couldn’t learn anything further about him from his possessions, until something caught her eye. The moonlight in the window reflected off of a glass surface that hit her eye at just the right spot, getting her attention just as she turned. It was a photograph. The only photograph Shirou had on his bookshelf, from the looks of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Upon closer inspection, her heart sank. She should have figured she’d see something like this, somewhere.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a photo of Shirou and Kiritsugu.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hadn’t been old enough to properly retain all the memories of her father, but she had some. Mainly because for a while they were </span>
  <em>
    <span>all </span>
  </em>
  <span>she had. In the photograph, which she tentatively reached out and touched, Kiritsugu wore a casual set of robes right next to a much younger Shirou. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn’t change all that much from her memory. Deeper set-in eyes, a bit more scruff facial-hair wise, maybe a few pounds heavier, but there was no mistaking it. That was him. Looking at his visage called to mind every memory of him she had. Fragments of voices and words, the feel of his coat that she’d tug to get his attention, the sensation of sitting on his shoulders after he picked her up. Some of the only pleasant memories she had were of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But so many more memories of hers were haunted by his absence. A void in her mind. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She felt too many things at once to narrow it down. Happiness at first, but it faded into sadness. That gave way to anger, regret, and even a bitter hatred she hadn’t fully let go of. That and… something else. Something that hurt. Something-</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Illya?” Shirou’s voice rang out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya jolted upright, finding him in the doorway, unable to form a coherent sentence. She wanted to try and conjure an excuse, but the emotional shock to the system made it difficult for her to do anything of the sort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou, naturally, just walked up to her to see why she looked mildly distressed. He paid no mind that she was invading his privacy, either because he didn’t care or simply didn’t even register. Had the light been on, he would’ve perhaps been more concerned, but he could glean enough from those glassy crimson eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Are you alright?” he asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya’s mouth hung partially open. She simply looked back to the photo a few feet in front of her. Shirou glanced at it, connecting the dots, and immediately felt his stomach sink.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, I should’ve put this away,” he said, clearly downcast.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Perhaps recent events made him look at this photo in a similar manner to Illya.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She let out a weak smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine, really,” she assured him, “It’s your room, Shirou. I shouldn’t even be in here,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She tried to dissuade it, but he could tell she was still bothered by it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I wish I could… say… o-or do something,” he said quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She turned to him, eyebrow raised.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do something?” she asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah.” he said, “I mean… I know it must be hard for you. Being here. Seeing stuff like this. Knowing… what you do,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya wanted to disagree, but she wouldn’t have been being honest with herself or Shirou. Sometimes it was hard when she thought about her dad.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was a look in Shirou’s eyes she didn’t often see. It was pained. There was a struggle there, of sorts. Frustration. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anger.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I just don’t know… why he’d do it,” Shirou said, “Why he’d leave you like that. He wasn’t… that wasn’t the man I knew. That wasn’t my dad,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She would never have admitted it, but she felt a profound pang of emotional pain when he called Kiritsugu his dad. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t think he was mine either,” she said, “the dad I knew wouldn’t have done that. He wouldn’t have,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, neither of them said a word. They simply absorbed the fact that they were on each other’s wavelengths, even if it was for opposite reasons. The commonality between them was betrayal. Their hero suddenly felt a lot less like a hero and more like a human who made some truly terrible choices. And naturally, they were the ones who felt the consequences.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“How did he die?” she asked quietly, breaking the silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou felt gutted, being asked that, but he remained stalwart. He’d never let that show.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He got sick,” he answered plainly, “Just… sick,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was always a mystery to him how it had happened. How a perfectly healthy man nearly in the prime of his life could just pass away like that. Shirou, of all people, knew that fate could deal a cruel hand for no reason whatsoever.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it painful?” she asked meekly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou shook his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“If it was, he hid it well,” he said, “I had no idea. Neither did Taiga,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Another silence. Both of them managed to think outside their own heads with their father, considering how the other must’ve felt, which didn’t lighten the mood, but lended each of them some perspective.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m sorry,” Illya said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou gave a dry chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, Illya, you sure are making a habit of apologizing when I’m nearly certain </span>
  <em>
    <span>I’m </span>
  </em>
  <span>the one who should be saying he’s sorry,” he said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She smiled faintly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know me being here makes it hard for you,” she explained, “I’ve got all this baggage and… he was your hero,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He was yours too, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Shirou thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He… still is,” Shirou said, uncertainty palpable, “At least, I think he is. Against my better judgment,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was clearly still weighing on him. Illya definitely underestimated how reality-warping this must’ve been for him. Shirou’s past and future seemed hell-bent on discouraging him from his path, and his confidence in said path.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe not,” Shirou sighed, “Don’t know anymore,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Gravity felt a bit heavier after that. Illya felt like she had done a bit too much damage, even if she was trying to maintain a sense of honesty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe we don’t need heroes,” she said, “We can just sorta… admire what they stood for. Or what we thought they stood for. Cause even if we we wrong about them… if they made us do the right thing, that’s all that matters, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn’t help but feel a bit too didactic, but she didn’t know how else to say it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou paused, and then nodded, taking a look at Illya, who was still wrought with uncertainty.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re right,” he said, “I think… maybe it’s more about finding the right thing to fight for,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gave her a knowing look, which went over her head at first, but eventually it hit her. She blushed, realizing his meaning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know this kinda goes against what I uh… literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>said, but…” Illya said uneasily, “You’re </span>
  <em>
    <span>my </span>
  </em>
  <span>hero, you know that right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou was taken aback, by both her words and the utter sincerity with which she spoke them. He could only let out an awkward chuckle.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good thing Rin wasn’t around to hear that,” he said, “She would’ve gagged. That was schmaltzy even for me,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She playfully punched his shoulder and laughed while still narrowing her gaze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey! I meant that!” she insisted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They both took one last look at the photograph, and then turned to each other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I know ya did,” Shirou said, his goofy smile becoming an honest one.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He leaned in, wrapping his arms around Illya, hugging her. It was the first time anyone had since the vision of her mother had, and she was so caught off-guard that she could only stand there, stiff as a board. Eventually, she let herself melt into the embrace, returning it. The warmth of another person was another new thing she wasn’t used to, though she desperately hoped to change that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They pulled away, a tear running down Illya’s face that she wiped away before Shirou could even notice. He probably would’ve teased her again, and she didn’t want to ruin the moment.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou looked tired, and the recognition of that made Illya yawn. Shirou looked at the clock, seeing it wasn’t even that late, but he was exhausted too. Perhaps they’d all just been pushing themselves lately, trying to maintain schedules while dealing with the fallout of the war still. Shirou briefly considered that had it not been for winter break, he would’ve likely started to become one of the kids who falls asleep in class. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Illya walked toward the door, leaving Shirou to his bed, turning around to say goodnight. There was an unspoken sense of mutual gratitude they were both aware of, but neither said anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Night Shirou,” she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Night sis,” he said, almost without thinking.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Shirou didn’t even realize it, which led to Illya heading down the hall to her room, unable to properly figure out if she should’ve been laughing or crying. After grabbing a few tissues, she did a little of both, and once Rin finally finished with Waver, she allowed herself a deep, restful sleep, the likes of which she hadn’t had in years. The best part, however, was that it was entirely devoid of nightmares. Just peace. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Hanging Moon</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>As Waver wraps up his interviews with the survivors, Rin unexpectedly divulges a secret whilst trying to ascertain information on The Clock Tower's investigation of Zouken Matou's disappearance. Meanwhile, a prominent member of a certain magical family threatens to stir things up in regards to the nature of the Holy Grail.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Waver gathered his belongings after graciously accepting a cup of coffee from Rin. He mentioned off-handedly that he was in for a lot of busywork tonight once he arrived back at the Clock Tower, and she offered him a pick-me-up. If anyone understood the diligence required to live up to expectation, it was her.</p><p> </p><p>It was cheap, very mediocre coffee. He kind of missed it.</p><p> </p><p>“Make sure to tell the others I appreciate their honesty, and I hope you all have a pleasant evening. We’ll be in touch with you soon,” Waver told Rin as he put down the empty mug.</p><p> </p><p>Rin playfully squinted at the man.</p><p> </p><p>“What makes you so sure we were honest?” Rin inquired cheekily. </p><p> </p><p>That caught his attention. What motivation would she possibly have to ask such a thing? Her genuine curiosity must’ve been strong, if that indeed was the source. </p><p> </p><p>“Your stories all matched, for one,” he said, “Small details were different enough between the four of you to know you clearly didn’t rehearse them, and generally speaking I don’t think you’d all have any motivation to lie. Nothing to be gained from it,”</p><p> </p><p>He meant every word. It was less them getting their stories straight and more just for record-keeping anyway, but if something suspicious <em> was </em>going on? He would’ve been surprised. Though if trouble came from somewhere, it would certainly be from Rin. She was polite and nice, but Waver could tell she was fiery underneath it all. She had some of her father in her, but without the arrogance. There was no certainty with her, instead there was just desire. Desire to prove oneself. Potentially, at any expense. </p><p> </p><p>“Fair enough. You seem to be a decent judge of character, from the looks of it,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>Waver had no misconceptions about this. He was. </p><p> </p><p>“Flattery will get you nowhere, though I suppose you already know that, which is why I’ll take that compliment,” he remarked, standing up and stretching. </p><p> </p><p>“More an observation,” Rin said plainly, “So that’s it? We’re off the hook?”</p><p> </p><p>He eyed her curiously.</p><p> </p><p>“To be frank, Ms. Tohsaka, you were never on the hook for anything,” he said, “Unless of course there’s something you’ve omitted,” </p><p> </p><p>Rin’s expression became notably less bright. They stood in silence halfway to the door, and Rin sighed.</p><p> </p><p>“I find it strange that you aren’t investigating the disappearance of Zouken Matou,” she said bluntly.</p><p> </p><p>Waver looked at her curiously. The man had hardly been mentioned by any of them, despite his apparent involvement with both them as individuals and the war itself. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s up for debate,” Waver explained, “His disappearance is merely speculation at this point. If I had a dime for every time some old mage went into a self-imposed exile, I wouldn’t be doing office gruntwork,”</p><p> </p><p>He tried to say his piece without seeming interrogative. However, Rin’s interest in the matter was the first thing all evening that rang as suspicious.</p><p> </p><p>“I figured it would be a big deal. He’s an important figure. Just disappearing like that when you’re the final bearer of your family’s blood? It’s peculiar, isn’t it?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>She was deflecting. Expertly, no doubt, but she was. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, to put it simply,” Waver said, fully turning to face the girl to get a better read, “No body, no crime. And with Zouken, I’d be willing to bet the man’s corpse would turn into snakes or some variety of vermin upon dropping dead,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin knew those words were spoken mostly because he was a transfigurist. Often, when they died, there was no evidence left. The body would evaporate. However, something about the way he said that last part was tinged with venom. Nobody liked Zouken, but Waver seemed to have a specific distaste for him. It made Rin feel slightly emboldened.</p><p> </p><p>They stood there in silence, nearly identical thoughts passing through their heads.</p><p> </p><p>“So, what you’re saying is, if none of his loved ones come forward about his disappearance, nothing will come of it?” she asked dryly.</p><p> </p><p>Waver nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Some of his values may be shared by many in our community, but Zouken is a relic even by their standards,” Waver said, “I’d be willing to wager he doesn’t exactly have any loved ones <em> to </em>come forward. Particularly now that Shinji is gone,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin made eye contact with the other Magus. Another bout of silence. If there was any doubt before, now it had vanished. </p><p> </p><p>Waver knew.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you know the kinds of things he did to my sister?” she asked in a strained, harsh whisper, “The kinds of things he let Shinji do?”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t hold it in anymore. A part of her detected sympathy in Waver’s boyish face. A distaste for everything Zouken was and everything he stood for. It allowed her to slip.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” he said, his own nerves feeling prodded by how their conversation had escalated, “But I can imagine,”</p><p> </p><p>She looked away from him, casting her gaze downward as she shed a tear.</p><p> </p><p>“Do you?” she asked bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>Waver knew about the cruelty mages were capable of. He’d seen it first hand, but he knew what he <em> didn’t </em>see, the more mundane evils and atrocities that lurked behind curtains and under the veil of normalcy… that was where true horror lurked. His mind harkened back to the atrocities he and Iskandar bore witness to in the Grail War alone. The dozens of bodies of children that Caster had murdered. He felt nauseous even thinking about it. The Grail War was an ugly affair for many reasons, but the worst of all is that it was an event that revealed the darkest parts of its participants. When the chips were down, when everything was on the line, it let people abandon any semblance of their humanity. Zouken Matou, a man notorious for his rumored cruelty, a man who had tried to win the war at least three times, had to be as rotten as any of them could’ve been. The world was a better place without him in it.</p><p> </p><p>If only he knew that Rin had very nearly been one of Caster’s victims. </p><p> </p><p>He stepped closer to Rin, casting down a gaze of pity at the girl.</p><p> </p><p>“Rin,” he asked, voice tempered to be more gentle, “Tell me one thing,”</p><p> </p><p>She wiped away the tears in her eyes, and nervously looked back at the man.</p><p> </p><p>“Did you kill Shinji Matou?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>Rin hesitated, merely because that wasn’t the name she expected to hear come out of his mouth. She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t,” she answered.</p><p> </p><p>Waver faintly nodded. He had no affinity for the boy, especially because of the implications that he was no better than Zouken, but this one detail was vital.</p><p> </p><p>“Then that’s all I need to know,” he said, faintly smiling.</p><p> </p><p>Rin only looked confused.</p><p> </p><p>“Why would-”</p><p> </p><p>Waver turned around, grabbing his coat as he made his way to the door. </p><p> </p><p>“As I said earlier, you aren’t on the hook for anything,” he said, “However, the higher ups wouldn’t be thrilled if there were oversights. Especially if it had to do with one of your peers. A peer who was a shoe-in for admission at the Clock Tower. But since Shinji died in the conflict, and because Zouken was hardly involved, that’s all there is to it,” </p><p> </p><p>Rin could hardly believe it. Waver knew what she did and just… didn’t care. She had let out far more information than she intended to, but made no intention of confessing if it came to that. But it didn’t matter.</p><p> </p><p>Waver opened the door, perhaps a bit too pleased with himself that he had done not the ‘moral’ thing, but the ‘right’ thing.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, Rin,” he said, “I’d learn to hold my tongue- or rather, at least develop a degree of subtlety when discussing secrets. Not everyone in our world is as forgiving as I am,”</p><p> </p><p>“And… why is that, exactly?” she asked, fumbling in her confusion.</p><p> </p><p>It took him a minute to parse what she was asking, exactly. However, he was fairly certain she was inquiring as to why he seemed to be keeping quiet about this little affair.</p><p> </p><p>“Because like you, I’ve got a modicum of ambition. But I shouldn’t,” he said plainly.</p><p> </p><p>“Shouldn’t?” she asked, genuinely confused.</p><p> </p><p>He turned around one last time.</p><p> </p><p>“In a perfect world… or at least, a better one, people like you and I wouldn’t have expectations burdening us at every turn. Working hard is all well and good, but you and I are ambitious for the same reason: because we know the world can be better. And because we both know we can help make it that way. We shouldn’t have to possess this hunger for change, but someone has got to do something. The more people who see eye-to-eye with me on that, the better,”</p><p> </p><p>He gave her a sly wink while she stood there, still processing his word. </p><p> </p><p>“It helps to have friends in high places, and your trajectory, Ms. Tohsaka, is aimed squarely at the stars,” he said, “When the time comes to demolish these useless, archaic, regressive tenants and beliefs our world is governed by, it will be quite advantageous to have as much of a united front as possible. After all, your name carries a lot of weight. Would be quite silly of me to punish someone who would prove to be a valuable ally,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin hesitantly smirked. They had a lot more in common than she thought.</p><p> </p><p>“Goodbye Rin. I’ll keep in touch,” he said as he exited.</p><p> </p><p>Rin let out a shaky breath when the door finally closed. She hadn’t expected to reveal her hand so quickly with that, let alone with someone as sharp as Waver. What was she thinking? She wanted to beat herself up for letting her guard down. She was far too nervous and simply <em> had </em>to know if the Clock Tower was going to investigate that. She had an internal desire to discipline herself for being so reckless. An instinct no doubt rendered into her from her childhood.</p><p> </p><p>Instead, she only felt relief. She was safe. Sakura was safe.</p><p> </p><p>It was the first time since the war’s conclusion that she felt any modicum of peace. And with it, a burning desire rekindled in her thanks in part to Waver. </p><p> </p><p>She didn’t even know where to begin when it came to how she’d try and change the world, but that was something that was too far off to worry about now. Once she’d studied, grown, and attended school, perhaps <em> then </em>she could know enough to try and quash the system that had let corruption, arrogance, and injustice thrive for so long. A system that wholly captured her late father, blinding him so thoroughly that it led to his downfall. She had nothing but resentment for the Mage’s Association. They had deprived her of a proper father, her sister, and had claimed the lives of her mother and uncle in some way or another with all this bloodline nonsense. Sooner or later, the old ways would implode spectacularly as all ‘great’ things did, and she wanted nothing more than to help with the demolition. </p><p> </p><p>But for now, she still had a life to live, and for the first time, she actually had people to live it with.</p><p> </p><hr/><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Reines El-Melloi Archisorte read her adopted brother’s report with a distinct lack of patience once she realized it yielded little of interest. She figured she would’ve learned something beyond broad strokes, or uncovered some kind of detail that would be advantageous to her. Alas, it did nothing. Well, that wasn’t true, it did indeed confirm to her that Waver was useless.</p><p> </p><p>Using him as a puppet of sorts when she bestowed upon him the title of Lord El-Melloi II proved to be a lackluster plan, seeing as he actually possessed a brain. She was his advisor, but nothing more, which greatly disappointed her. He was on his way to becoming head of the department of modern magecraft theory at this rate, which she hadn’t planned on. There was no way that she could’ve worked her way up the ladder at only 19 years old, so trying to get a hapless-yet-talented stand-in for her family to carry out her whims was smart in theory, but her younger self had underestimated the degree to which the young man developed a spine. He still knew he owed her, seeing as he betrayed Kayneth the way he did, but her influence over him was limited. As a result, her family’s sway in the Clock Tower was no greater than it was upon Kayneth’s death. In the wake of the most recent Grail War, it seemed like she was not alone. The three noble families were all reduced down to the wire, all of them standing on par with one another. </p><p> </p><p>She was looking to change that. </p><p> </p><p>She sat in her dorm for hours, trying to think of a game plan. They were back at square one, but she knew her rivals were as well. Tohsaka would be coming to London in a little over a year, and with her the exemplary reputation her father once held. Being a Grail War survivor would additionally add brownie points to the girl. The other sister technically carried two titles, and would no doubt retain some of the power Zouken gave her once she recovered. The Einzbern hommunculus’s daughter proved especially worrisome, as she was basically genetically engineered to be as powerful as possible. She couldn’t help but think the elder Einzbern mage had intended for the mage-killer and her to fall in love so they’d produce an offspring full of potential. The Emiya boy seemed strong, which was a whole ordeal in and of itself. They all posed a threat to her, as she could easily shoot for becoming the dominant power in the magical community with the scales all being evened out, so to speak. </p><p> </p><p>She had one thing the others did not, though. She had connections. </p><p> </p><p>She stood up, grabbing her phone, and dialing a number she didn’t expect to break out for a good while. It was a sudden, very peculiar idea that hinged on a lot of ‘what ifs’- but Reines would not let an avenue go unexplored if it could possibly lead her down to victory. She had to restore her family name. She had to strike while the iron was hot.</p><p> </p><p>The phone rang, and she tapped her foot impatiently. It was nearly 9 PM, and she didn’t want her neighbor next door to come home and potentially overhear this. She needed as tight of a lid on this as possible.</p><p> </p><p>She stared out her window at the London skyline. It was dark, dimly illuminated and dusted with snow. She thoroughly hated the cold, but it followed her everywhere. Nearly every place she’d ever lived had frigid winters and lukewarm summers, like the planet itself was trying to spite her. She couldn’t deny the serenity of the aesthetic though. It had its charm. Though it was probably paltry compared to a warmer, South American island. Maybe once this was all over and done, when she finally had money again, she would move to some remote forgotten place and only come back here for business. How ideal!</p><p> </p><p>The phone finally clicked. A gruff voice answered. </p><p> </p><p>“Father Donovan speaking,” a thick Irish accent present in his voice.</p><p> </p><p>Reines put on her ‘sweet’ affectation, as she usually did with most business deals. She wasn’t old enough to be taken seriously or considered a threat, even though she was certainly formidable. So she opted for outright manipulation instead.</p><p> </p><p>“Hello Father,” she greeted, “Reines El-Melloi speaking. I haven’t caught you at a bad time, have I? Time Zones are simply not my strong suit,”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Reines, you caught me at as good a time as any. Old geezer like me isn’t up to a whole lot these days,” he said warmly, “How are you dear?”</p><p> </p><p>Reines mother had been a devout Catholic later in her life, and as a result, had her daughter baptized. Father Donovan had been a man who worked closely with the Mage Association many times as a member of a spec ops unit that was meant to handle ‘damage control’ of unruly magical activity or hunt criminals. You would have never known it by looking at the red headed priest with an unkempt goatee and a delightful smile that he had one hell of a bodycount behind him. He’d retired at the age of fifty, and five years later, now lived about as ordinarily as one could. Reines couldn’t understand why, seeing as he undoubtedly had both deep pockets and vast magical talent. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m holding up well… for the most part,” she said, intentionally leading the conversation in the exact direction she desired.</p><p> </p><p>She was never one to waste time. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh? Well that’s no good,” he said, “But, for some reason, I gather you didn’t ring me for the sacrament of confession, did ya?”</p><p> </p><p>She chuckled. She was fond of people who could get on her wavelength. She didn’t have to put up a front with them nearly as much as she did with everyone else. </p><p> </p><p>It had been a number of years since she’d seen the priest, but he was a family friend. She had her first sip of whisky from the man at a dinner party once, which everyone got a kick out of. He’d always been kind to her, as he did everyone, but he was no stranger to getting his hands dirty. Reines knew that much.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re correct, father,” she said, “I actually have some questions that only a seasoned veteran such as yourself could answer in any real detail. Could you perhaps humor me?”</p><p> </p><p>She heard the sound of liquid being poured into a glass. That man’s liver had to be in awful shape.</p><p> </p><p>“For you? Of course,” he said, awkwardly clearing his throat afterwards, “I’ve heard about the fracturing your family has undergone in recent years. My deepest sympathies, truly. Having that weight on your shoulders at such a young age… tragic,”</p><p> </p><p>In theory, it certainly was. Reines, however, saw it as an opportunity. She was unbound by the restrictions of guardians. She was leading the charge of her family, just using Waver as nothing more than a scapegoat. She didn’t have to debate or disagree with anyone about what was best. It was free reign. She felt very little in terms of loss when it came to her few surviving family members dying. They were all in her way, and if they were more fit to lead the family, then they would’ve lived. </p><p> </p><p>However, while she was unbothered, she was also a remarkable actress.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she said employing a deliberate shakiness in her cadence, “It’s been quite difficult, but I’m looking for some advice. Get us back on our feet, you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Naturally,” he responded, “I’ll do my best, though I can’t believe I would know anything you wouldn’t, little missy. I remember you having great academic prospects. Are you finally at the Clock Tower?”</p><p> </p><p>Ugh, pleasantries. She knew he, and many other people, meant well when they engaged in them. However, she could never see the appeal.</p><p> </p><p>“I am,” she said, “About to begin my third semester, as a matter of fact. But this subject is a bit more in your area of expertise,”</p><p> </p><p>He curiously hummed.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” he let out modestly, “Well, anything to help out someone in need,”</p><p> </p><p>She was happy he was so compliant, and she knew she was putting on an act, but she also hated being referred to as ‘someone in need’- it felt so utterly beneath her.</p><p> </p><p>“What do you know of the Holy Grail?” she asked as a sort of umbrella question.</p><p> </p><p>He awkwardly coughed after taking a sip of whatever he was drinking.</p><p> </p><p>“Ah,” he said with a slight nervousness, “I take it you’re referring to the grail as a magical device and not as the cup that Christ drank from?”</p><p> </p><p>“Is there a difference?” she asked, genuinely curious.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, yes and no,” he said, “The Grail as you know it is more an abstract concept. It isn’t the physical manifestation of that cup, but rather an emblem of significance. It’s like an echo of the original artifact. Any tangible, physical item could never hold the divine power within it, so instead it willed itself into existence to contain itself. It’s like a mobius strip, in a way, it’s existence is justified by itself.</p><p> </p><p>Interesting. That was actually something she wasn’t aware of. It had always been a means to an end, its origins didn’t concern her.</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” she said skeptically, “So, tell me, are you aware of the recent conflicts surrounding the item? The fourth and fifth Holy Grail War, specifically?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a pause. There was definite apprehension in the air. She nearly cursed under her breath. Maybe being indirect and waiting for him to get a little more drunk would’ve been the better approach.</p><p> </p><p>“But I know that the circles we run in are very tight-lipped about this sort of thing. I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble for my sake, regardless of how much I need it,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>That last bit would land her what she wanted. </p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mean to pry, but Reines, why would you want to know about such a thing?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>Bingo.</p><p><br/>“Well, you see, I’m currently assisting the investigation regarding the events of the most recent Holy Grail war. My assistant sent me his report on what happened after interviewing the survivors. We’re spearheading an effort to keep the grail from causing the destruction it has in the last two wars. So, hypothetically, we’d need to seal it away somehow. We don’t know how you access it, so we also don’t really know how to protect it,” she explained.</p><p> </p><p>It was as good a lie as any, and she knew the priest would sympathize with it.</p><p> </p><p>“How noble of you, lass,” he said, his voice returning to normal, “Well, I think I can divulge a little of what I know to aid you, even if it’s admittedly not much,”</p><p> </p><p>“Anything helps at this point,” she said, underscoring her tone with a desperation that really sold her need, “It’s been so unwieldy in the last few decades and there’s just so little concrete information about it, or why it ends up leading to disasters,”</p><p> </p><p>“Well, my dear, I do have a bit of a theory about that. I don’t know too much more than your average high-ranking mage, but as a member of the church, I’ve been thinking about it a lot since the fourth grail war,” he said with genuine investment, “Tell me, are you at all aware of the source of the grail’s power? The reason it’s able to manifest?”</p><p> </p><p>“It being a holy relic isn’t enough?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>He took another drink.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s about half of the reason. The other half is… well it’s strangely scientific. You’re familiar with alchemy, aren’t you?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” she said, trying not to sound like she was irritated that he’d even ask her that.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, one of the core tenants of that science is that for something to be created or born, something of equal or greater value must be lost. Basic Newtonian stuff. So, in theory, a wish-granting device would need a lot of power, would it not?”</p><p> </p><p>“Sure,” she said, wanting him to get to the point.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, it has to sacrifice something to retain its power. It is, by nature, parasitic. The mages and servants of the holy grail war are bound to it once the command seals manifest. See… my theory is that when they die, they become part of the grail. It uses them to retain it’s monstrous power. It feeds off the most potent and elusive sustenance in the known universe: suffering,”</p><p> </p><p>“Strange that a holy object would be so malicious,” she wondered out loud, “What makes you think it would be so deliberate?”</p><p> </p><p>He laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, again, it is mostly speculation,” he explained, “But I think the Grail is more complex. Like the servants it summons, it is affected by history. Many people have sacrificed a lot to manifest the grail. Entire ancient cultures and religions were founded in the pursuit of that power. I think, somewhere along the way, the wanton suffering and despair caused by those trying to obtain it… infected it, in a way. Who knows how, but a pure, holy object would be tainted very easily,”</p><p> </p><p>That was it.</p><p> </p><p>“So… you’re saying it’s possible the grail is defective? And that’s why the Grail Wars have been happening in closer proximity? It’s unstable now?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Again, in theory,” he said, “But my guess is that you’re correct. It’s a snowball effect, too. The more conflict and death the grail creates, the more maligned it becomes. It’s like an infection, or a tumor. Destroying it would be… complicated. Maybe even impossible,”</p><p> </p><p>There was a faint sense of panic in his voice at the end there. Understandably so. This kind of power was not something that could be easily suppressed. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, that’s why I’m here working with the Clock Tower,” she said confidently, “Destroying it could be a foolish endeavor. However, if we knew how to access the grail, we could devise a method to lock it’s power away. It would still exist and retain it’s form, but we could seal it away so that it never harms anyone again,”</p><p> </p><p>She was so convincing she nearly believed it.</p><p> </p><p>“How noble,” he said with a calmer tone, “Well, it’s simple, really. Before, the Grail itself chose when it would appear. Every 100 years. Now that it’s become unstable, it seems to happen whenever it feels like it. Which is troublesome, but I think there are ways around it,”</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t help but grin.</p><p> </p><p>“Ways around it?” she innocently inquired.</p><p> </p><p>“I think that the alchemic principle applies to summoning the Grail as well. If you’re able to provide a plentiful enough sacrifice, you could manifest it. However, it would still need a toll. If it were to be manually summoned, another Grail War would certainly ensue,”</p><p> </p><p>Disappointing for sure, but not without hope. She could definitely win a Grail War.</p><p> </p><p>In fact… she was certain she could. So certain that this became quite the opportunity.</p><p> </p><p>“So, say the person conjuring the Grail was able to do so,” she posed, “I was wondering, servants are often summoned because of an artifact in the master’s possession that is specific to their history. Could the same principle apply to Masters?”</p><p> </p><p>There was a brief silence, and she hoped it was just the slightly drunk priest trying to parse through what she was asking.</p><p> </p><p>“You mean, could the summoner chose the masters?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes, exactly,” she said with hope.</p><p> </p><p>“I would think so, yes,” he said, “The Grail is inclined to choose those who most desire or need it, so it can give way to more impassioned conflict, but in its defective state, I would guess this is possible,”</p><p> </p><p>That was all she needed. It wasn’t impossible.</p><p> </p><p>“Father, you’ve been most helpful,” she said with a satisfactory smile, “I’m going to take this to my superiors and it will be invaluable,”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled again.</p><p> </p><p>“Anything for you, Reines,” he said before taking a final sip, “Do take care of yourself, okay? If you ever need me for any reason, don’t hesitate to call. This Grail stuff is nasty business, I wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt, least of all you,”</p><p> </p><p>The man’s words were kind, but their intent on her was mostly lost.</p><p> </p><p>“I appreciate that,” she said, “I’ll leave you to your evening. Thank you so much, I have a feeling this information will prove vital to our research. Even if it’s false, it’s another possibility to rule out,”</p><p> </p><p>The two exchanged their final goodbyes, and Reines couldn’t help but feel giddy upon hanging up. Finding out the Grail was most certainly defective was the best outcome. It meant she could exploit that weakness. But then there was the matter of sacrifices.</p><p> </p><p>To summon the Grail… what exactly would it take?</p><p> </p><p>She knew things were about to get worse before they got better. She was going to have to get her hands dirty, in some very unpleasant ways. She wouldn’t dive headfirst into this, but she knew she had to act quickly. Some research on summoning arts, conjuration, and alchemy were where she’d start. After that, it was just a matter of what ingredients to gather. </p><p> </p><p>Unlike many in her family, she wasn’t afraid of that. In fact, so many of them had proved to be so comically useless that she had adopted a bit of a mantra to remind herself not to slip up, and to be self-reliant in every way she could:</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> If you want something done, you’ve got to do it yourself. </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Where We Would Be</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>2 months later, both Shirou and Sakura are well into their proper training as mages. Alongside Illya and Rin, the survivors of the previous Grail War get to experience an inkling of a 'normal' life. Meanwhile, Waver and Hishiri Adashino make some upsetting discoveries as Reines puts the wheels of her plan into motion.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hey everybody! I am in fact, not dead, just dreadfully overworked. I wanted to have this out wayyyy sooner than now, but I've been busy with work, writing my original novel series 'Those Who Dwell in the Dark', and my freelance ghostwriting gigs, so my free time has been spare. I'm not giving up though! I love this story a little too much to drop it, so rest assured, I'm here to the end, just be patient with me &lt;3 Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>Two Months Later</b>
</p><p> </p><p>“Shirou, I swear to God, if you break one more enchantment crystal I’m going to liquify your insides,” Rin growled from Shirou’s back porch.</p><p> </p><p>Taiga popped her head out from inside, looking at Rin with a fear in her eyes that was seldom seen.</p><p> </p><p>“You sure know how to pick em’ Emiya,” she called out to the red-haired boy currently working with manic energy inside the shed.</p><p> </p><p>“Will you two keep quiet?!” he finally shouted from inside, “I can’t concentrate!”</p><p> </p><p>A bright green light flashed from inside. Taiga looked down at Rin, whose previous disapproving scowl now turned to a wry smile. She was happy her tutelage had given Shirou, a previously thought model of patience, the slightest bit of a temper. </p><p> </p><p>“He’s not going to hurt himself, is he?” Taiga asked as the light seemed to flicker on and off as a faint hum permeated the air.</p><p> </p><p>“Regrettably, no,” Rin said with a chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>Taiga raised her eyebrow disapprovingly.</p><p> </p><p>“Regrettably?” she asked. </p><p> </p><p>She liked Rin, all things considered. When it came to Shirou, they were basically on the same page. Both gave him a hard time, but both cared for him deeply. However, Taiga was never fully able to read if Rin meant her quips aimed at him.</p><p> </p><p>“Regrettably,” she repeated with a small sigh and a flimsy smile, “Shirou would be far less expensive to replace than my alchemy supplies he’s been burning through,”</p><p> </p><p>Taiga didn’t ever pretend to know what half the things they talked about even were anymore. She had to learn to roll with the punches after she asked Illya to explain to her what exactly a ‘Noble Phantasm’ was- which nearly gave her an aneurysm. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, keep him alive as long as you can,” Taiga said, her concern melting, “Illya and I will be done with lunch here soon,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin nodded as she turned her attention back to Shirou, prompting Taiga to head back inside before she worried herself too much over him.</p><p> </p><p>Smoke began to seep out of the window as the lights faded. It was like Shirou was in an outhouse that had a rave going on inside it.</p><p> </p><p>Rin checked her watch, nearly shivering because of the cold. It had been relentless this winter, which she didn’t care for, especially considering the safest place to train was outside, adjacent to where Shirou had that measly little magical shed workshop. She didn’t mean to be impatient, but the snow and wind tended to make the experience a bitter one whilst waiting. She could also smell whatever it was they were making inside, and was anxiously awaiting to find out what exactly it was.</p><p> </p><p>“You had better not be using tracing on those stones Shirou!” she called out.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m not!” he said after a brief pause and the sound of something clattering onto the floor, “It would kinda defeat the purpose a little!”</p><p> </p><p>His shouting was a bit less bitterly impassioned and more just trying to get Rin to properly hear him. </p><p> </p><p>Teaching Shirou the bases of all magic, stuff that young mages could learn as soon as they turned ten or so, was no easy task. Part of why magic came so easily in those years was that they coincided with puberty for a lot of kids. As the mind slowly develops, magical abilities do too. So teaching the fundamentals to someone who’d grown up a little bit already without them was hard. Shirou was remarkable at tracing and similarly physical and structural magic, but everything else proved to be a royal pain in the ass. Rin was determined, if occasionally frustrated, and Shirou himself felt similarly. One thing was undeniable though: he was making progress. Rin also liked that her first pupil was a bit troublesome, so it felt like an extra challenge. If she ever got around to being an instructor, which she tossed around occasionally, she’d probably think it was a breeze after this.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou could also cut a lot of corners with his current skill set, but that conversely would just sidestep the entire point of his learning all of this. Before, Shirou’s niche abilities were an asset because he was forced to employ them to a very specific extreme. Now, he had to be far more well-rounded.</p><p> </p><p>“Just checking,” she said, trying to ease up on her tone and let him concentrate. </p><p> </p><p>Another flash of bright green light occurred, Rin was worried at the state the makeshift lab was going to be in. </p><p> </p><p>“Ha! I did it!” he said right before going into a coughing fit.</p><p> </p><p>Rin’s smile returned as she stood up, walking towards the shed, hopeful she’d find something that would allow them to go back inside instead of trying this exercise again. She was freezing.</p><p> </p><p>She would’ve been lying if she said she wouldn’t have been proud, though. However, she also worried she was about to walk in on an alchemical nightmare abomination he could’ve created by mistake. </p><p> </p><p>Rin peeked inside, bracing herself for potential horror. Thankfully, she was greeted to the sight of Shirou standing above a now-glowing crystal in the center of the room in the middle of a summoning circle. All the crystals she’d provided him with (save for the ones that were broken) were floating around it, orbiting it while emitting a faint humming noise.</p><p> </p><p>She looked at Shirou, who currently looked like a child waiting to be praised for building an exceptional sandcastle. God he was such a doofus.</p><p> </p><p>“Well done, Shirou,” she said, giving him an enthusiastic but light punch to the shoulder, “Maybe next time you can do it without destroying several thousands of dollars worth of reagents,” </p><p> </p><p>Shirou’s look of faint pride disappeared and he gave a sigh of disappointment.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not my fault you pay inordinate amounts of money for that stuff! And you’re rich!” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Rin tried not to snicker.</p><p> </p><p>“Rich and hungry,” she said, nearly pulling the boy out of the shed by his shirt collar, “Let’s get some lunch, boy wonder,”</p><p> </p><p>“Rin I’m six months older than you,” he said plainly.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Christ, I’m going to have to teach this guy how to have a proper sense of humor, too.  </em>
</p>
<hr/><p>Once everyone got their food and got settled in, it didn’t take long for Shirou and Rin to start butting heads about his progress in recent weeks. Sakura was perhaps the only one wise to her sister’s shenanigans, knowing she just liked getting a rise out of the virtuous redhead. Illya always played mediator, hating any form of conflict whatsoever since she wasn’t good at gaging what was sincere and what was a bit more playful. It didn’t help that Shirou was so naturally trusting and immune to anything that wasn’t total sincerity, which led her to become a bit of a compulsive placater. </p><p> </p><p>It was night and day with Sakura and Illya, who were largely doing the same thing in regards to forming a ‘master and pupil’ dynamic. Sakura’s abilities had returned in full force a month previously, but she still had to relearn a lot of the things she already knew. Illya, naturally, was happy to spend time with her and try to enhance her magical knowledge. She had to conceal how enthusiastic she truly was to be around… well, anyone, really. She was awkward and bubbly and generally a bit of a mess, but she knew her stuff. The younger Tohsaka girl quickly grew warm to her, thankfully, as being in a comfortable environment allowed her to come out of her shell a bit more. In a lot of ways, Illyasviel embodied a lot of what Sakura wanted to be. She was unapologetically herself, always said whatever came to mind, and had a confidence about her that rivaled even Rin. What separated the two was mainly down to poise and restraint, which her older sister had plenty of. Illya on the other hand was so aloof that these things were of little consequence to her. </p><p> </p><p>Despite their obvious differences, both the Emiya and Tohsaka households had become places full of life that had previously not been there, and everyone was fairly grateful for it. Taiga especially, who was getting along with Illya far better with time, was just happy to see her departed friend’s progeny be so happy. It was comforting. Even if she didn’t know everything in regards to the four of them having sordid pasts, she knew far more than she let on. </p><p> </p><p>She was also ahead of the curve on noticing a few things that she didn’t think the others were privy to yet. For example: Sakura and Illyasviel.</p><p> </p><p>Over the course of the last month, all four of them spent a lot more time together. They’d all been exempted from attending school because of the Clock Tower’s willingness to get them on the road to attending their establishment, seeing as they were all some shade of magical nobility at this point. This led their lifestyle to being far more similar to that of college students with a surprising abundance of free time. After Shirou had told her about the Grail War, she was unbothered by the fact that they weren’t necessarily undergoing any formal education. They deserved a break. She would’ve been far more worried normally, but discovered quickly how responsible each of them were. Rin had basically grown up as an adult since her father died, and Sakura was right there behind her. Shirou couldn’t get into trouble if he tried, and Illya was just happy to be there at all. But, this all still meant they had a lot of spare time. </p><p> </p><p>Illya, being the enthusiastic girl she was, always wanted to do something with the others. Shirou quickly caught onto this perhaps being a not-so-subtle manifestation of her desire to engage in the social activities she’d missed out on her entire life, and quietly encouraged the others to humor her. It didn’t take a lot of ‘humoring’ since they were happy to, so a lot of off-time they had consisted of trips into the city, going out and getting food, shopping, seeing movies, and going over to each other’s houses for sleepovers. Rin was perhaps the only one of them who took their time adjusting to this, as she’d been antisocial mostly through her own will. Even she, prickly as she was, got used to it. </p><p> </p><p>But as the weeks passed, Taiga saw Sakura and Illya spending more time together on their own. Often totally unprompted. She could tell it was partially because of Illya’s unwieldy energy and Sakura’s desire to please everyone around her that led to a lot of unexpected adventures, but the two both seemed so caught up in living with their newfound sense of freedom that it totally went over their heads just how much they liked spending time with each other.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe she was being overly perceptive, but she could’ve sworn there was something there. Only time would tell. </p><p> </p><p>“Hey, do you and Shirou want to come over tonight? Rin wanted to order pizza,” Sakura asked Illya out of the blue.</p><p> </p><p>Taiga grinned. Right on cue.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m down,” Shirou said, “I could eat a horse after trying to mess with those crystals for two hours,” </p><p> </p><p>Illya was still chewing her food, but nodded enthusiastically. Rin, however, uncharacteristically blushed.</p><p> </p><p>“I said pizza sounded nice like an hour ago. I didn’t say I was gonna order one…”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou elbowed her gently. It was mildly hilarious that it was <em> her </em>of all people that was slow on the uptake.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, well… I mean, sure,” she said, “That sounds like a wonderful idea,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura snickered. She was trying. Illya just had a silly smile on her face.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ve never had pizza before,” the white-haired girl commented.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou raised his eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Seriously? Never?” he inquired.</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Important thing to consider: I still have not had like, ninety percent of normal foods,” she said, “I had a peanut butter sandwich for the first time a week ago when Sakura made me one for lunch,”</p><p> </p><p>Moments like this always threw Taiga for a loop, just what kind of childhood did this girl actually have? </p><p> </p><p>“Then this isn’t just a meal, this is a moral imperative,” Shirou said with good-natured enthusiasm, “How about we go pick a movie to rent and then we can head over to your place?”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Perfect!” she said, “It’s a date,”</p>
<hr/><p>Shirou and Illya, after cleaning up after lunch and having some down time with the others, elected to head out and get groceries, stop by Blockbuster, and grab the pizza at the end of their errand-running so they could head right over to Rin and Sakura’s place. Any excuse to go out to the city while it was snowing was worth it to see the look on Illya’s face as she looked at her surroundings with occasional wonder. </p><p> </p><p>They got their grocery shopping out of the way early so they could window-shop a bit before grabbing a movie. Mainly so Shirou could have an idea of something to buy her for her birthday. Illya didn’t actually know when her birthday was because of her parents being absent, so he’d spoken to Sakura, Rin, and Taiga about throwing together something small for her the following week. He did his best to inconspicuously take notes throughout the entire afternoon at the shopping center. </p><p> </p><p>They arrived at Blockbuster and Shirou eyed his sister looking at each movie cover with a gleam in her eye, as she usually did. </p><p> </p><p>“Whatcha in the mood for?” Shirou asked inquisitively.</p><p> </p><p>“Hm,” she pondered, eyes evaluating everything immediately in front of her, “Maybe horror? I liked that one we watched last week,”</p><p> </p><p>Poltergeist. That had been fun. Rin had unflinchingly declared the experience quite boring, seeing as she’d encountered much scarier things in real life. Shirou enjoyed it, but not quite as much as he enjoyed seeing Illya and Sakura absolutely mortified by it, frightenedly holding onto each other through the entire second half.</p><p> </p><p>“Makes sense,” he said with a sly smile, “Gives you an excuse to have Sakura cling to you for an hour again, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>He spiritedly elbowed her right before she had time to be properly confused by what he said. She blushed.</p><p> </p><p>“P-Pardon?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou rolled his eyes and gave her a faint glare.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh come on, Illya. You <em> like </em>her! Even I’m not dense enough to miss it,” he teasingly insisted. </p><p> </p><p>Illya looked like she’d been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. </p><p> </p><p>“Do not! You’re delusional,” she said, attempting to dismiss the notion. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re a terrible liar,” he scoffed. </p><p> </p><p>“That’s… uh…” Illya trailed off and sighed, “Yeah I guess I am,”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou smiled and put his hand on her shoulder. </p><p> </p><p>“Being a terrible liar has its perks,” he said, “Means people don’t ever have to worry about trusting you,” </p><p> </p><p>Illya sheepishly smiled, but it immediately vanished when she made eye contact with the boy. </p><p> </p><p>“You’d better not tell a soul,” she huffed, “I don’t know… what to… yeah I have no idea what to do about any of that,” </p><p> </p><p>Her tone became gradually more and more defeated as her sentence progressed. </p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you need advice,” Shirou said knowingly. </p><p> </p><p>Illya sighed and let out a faint smile. </p><p> </p><p>“You know, I have it on good authority you’re just as awkward as I am with this kinda stuff,” she pointed out, “But at this point I’ll take whatever I can get,”</p><p> </p><p>“By ‘good authority’ you mean Rin?” Shirou asked.</p><p> </p><p>Illya nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay I wouldn’t exactly say she’s wrong about that, per se, but it’s just as much her fault that I never noticed she liked me. She’s all weird and withdrawn and icy,” he countered. </p><p> </p><p>Illya’s eyes widened.</p><p> </p><p>“Whoa whoa whoa, <em> you </em> and <em> Rin? </em>” </p><p> </p><p>Shirou laughed. </p><p> </p><p>“Slow down, sport. Not exactly. It was a little one-sided on her end. I didn’t really feel the same way,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Illya still found it difficult to rationalize that Rin ever felt something for him. It wasn’t because he lacked positive qualities, she was just always so abrasive with him even though they were clearly close friends now. Maybe that was a result of her just being stubborn or working through her more complicated feelings. </p><p> </p><p>“So, wait, it was you who didn’t reciprocate? You didn’t feel the same?” she asked with near-amazement. </p><p> </p><p>“You could at least try and sound a little bit less surprised,” he muttered. </p><p> </p><p>Illya giggled. </p><p> </p><p>“I didn’t mean it like that!” she insisted, “I just mean that, like, she’s Rin, ya know? She’s hot! And cool!”</p><p> </p><p>Her admiration for the girl was so astonishingly wholesome it would’ve made Rin throw up. </p><p> </p><p>“I guess you’re not incorrect,” he remarked, “I just don’t really feel much for anybody, let alone Rin. She’s great, I just don’t ‘do’ romance and all that stuff. Never been something I’ve given much thought to, in all honesty,” </p><p> </p><p>Illya couldn’t lie, she found that mildly baffling. It explained why he was a bit ‘up in the clouds’- even by Illya’s standards, mostly when it came to the opposite sex. He was a good looking guy, and got plenty of looks and flirtatious smiles from other girls, and it sort of washed right over him. Illya on the other hand, her exposure to romance was mostly through the abundance of novels she’d read over the years in her spare time at the Einzbern estate. It was basically all she had for recreational entertainment. She read all kinds of things, but romances were her favorite. It provided the most all-encompassing form of escapism. The idea of true love and the complete and utter devotion one person could have for another was always so beautiful to her. A part of her couldn’t help but relate to the idea of being a princess locked away in a tower, waiting for her savior. </p><p> </p><p>“So naturally you feel qualified to dish out advice,” Illya teased. </p><p> </p><p>“Well… okay you got me there,” Shirou admitted, “But I can still help as a person who knows Sakura and just knows people on a human level, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“I suppose so,” she said, “So… I guess I should ask first and foremost, is Sakura… well… um…”</p><p> </p><p>“Does she bat for your team?” he finished. </p><p> </p><p>She looked confused. </p><p> </p><p>“My… team?” she asked. </p><p> </p><p>Shirou smiled. He had to remember sometimes that half of his euphemisms were completely ineffective on her. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re asking me if Sakura likes girls,” he clarified, “I’m not totally certain, but I think she does,” </p><p> </p><p>Illya perked up a bit. This particular sticking point was one of the reasons she hadn’t truly considered acting on her feelings.</p><p> </p><p>“How do you know? Did she tell you?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“Not directly but I’ve always been under that impression. She’s always had that vibe,” he assured her. </p><p> </p><p>“Vibe?” she asked, her confusion being furthered. </p><p> </p><p>“Sometimes you just know. You can sorta tell. And mages are a lot more open-minded about that stuff generally speaking,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>“Could you ‘just sorta tell’ with me?” Illya asked. </p><p> </p><p>“No, but it wasn’t surprising,” he said plainly, “You’ve gotta work on your subtlety. You’ve been sneaking looks at Sakura’s legs for weeks,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya turned bright crimson while Shirou just chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“W-Well I just think everybody is beautiful,” Illya said, obviously deflecting, “No reason to limit myself,” </p><p> </p><p>“That’s the spirit,” he said, “Someone’s gotta woo all the girls that I’m not interested in,” </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll stick to Sakura, for now,” Illya said, her mind already drifting into thoughts of the violet-haired girl. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, if you want my advice, which you undoubtedly do, as we’ve established: I’m an expert in the ways of the heart,” Shirou began with a bit of theatrical gusteau. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh yes, of course,” she said, humoring his act. </p><p> </p><p>He looked at her warmly. </p><p> </p><p>“Be honest with her,” he said, “Sakura is… genuine. She’d appreciate directness,” </p><p> </p><p>Illya’s lips curled and her expression became wracked with nervous tension. </p><p> </p><p>“But what if she doesn’t feel the same way? Will it be weird? Will she not wanna be around me anymore?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou shook his head.</p><p> </p><p>“I think if you’re up front about it, and you tell her that you still wanna be friends, she’ll understand. She’s not the type to freak out like that,” he told her.</p><p> </p><p>She swallowed.</p><p> </p><p>“I dunno… I just feel… afraid. She’s so sweet and fun to be around. I don’t wanna jeopardize that,” she said, the idea of actually confronting Sakura now buzzing in her head in a way it hadn’t previously.</p><p> </p><p>“She’s not gonna stop being that way. I promise,” Shirou said, “And hey, give yourself a little more credit, you’re quite charming. That doesn’t hurt your chances,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya smiled and flippantly tossed her hair to one side.</p><p> </p><p>“Right you are, brother dearest, how could I have ever doubted you?” she mused, making Shirou chuckle.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay maybe ease up a little bit there,” he said, “Hey, if you can manage to work through being such a scaredy cat after a horror movie you might be able to make your move,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya gave a cat-like grin as she returned her attention primarily to scouting out a movie choice.</p><p> </p><p>“Shirou, a few months ago a man pulled my heart out of my chest and I laid in a pool of my own blood for hours. If you think a movie with some ghosts is enough to <em> actually </em>scare me then you don’t know me very well,” she said slyly.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou smiled, feeling a bit of pride in knowing that she was a hell of a lot smoother than he figured. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you’ve got my blessing. If you have any questions or need advice I will… happily Google something that will give you a better answer than I would,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>Illya felt a surge of heat in her chest. It was partially out of nervousness, as she was finally considering actually doing this. But it was also partly because she had the encouraging safety-net of Shirou behind her. Even if the worst case scenario played out, and Sakura hated her for some reason, she still had someone she could lean on.</p>
<hr/><p>The evening had gone about as expected for all involved. They’d ordered pizza (which Illya highly enjoyed, as anticipated) and elected to watch a double feature selected by Illya and Shirou: ‘The Thing’ and ‘The Exorcist’- two movies Shirou guaranteed would give them a fright. It worked like gangbusters too, as Illya sat on the floor with her back pressed against the couch, Sakura pressed into her shoulder, burying her face whenever something too ugly came on screen. Illya was a remarkable actress, being able to pretend she shared Sakura’s fear, and it led to Rin suspiciously looking at Shirou, who seemed to occasionally giggle for reasons she wasn’t entirely aware of. </p><p> </p><p>They were midway through the exorcist when Rin rather abruptly offered to make everyone hot chocolate, which everyone of course took her up on. Shirou noticed she seemed to be rather eager to leave, which seemed peculiar. Nothing particularly scary was happening on screen at the moment so it wasn’t her pretending to be her stone-faced self. He contemplated not checking on her and leaving her to her own devices, but if Shirou had learned anything with Rin over the past few months, it was that occasionally Rin needed to have people reach out to her because she seldom asked for help. No matter how much Rin had grown in such a short time, her pride could never truly be abandoned in its entirety.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou walked into the kitchen, seeing Rin solemnly prepare the drinks in her pajamas. They all elected to stay the night and dressed accordingly, but no matter how many times he saw her, Shirou could never quite get used to seeing her in flannels and a t-shirt. It was so casual and so… not her. Illya and Sakura were totally normal dressed in basically the same attire, which created an odd amount of cognitive dissonance. Rin put a great deal of effort into her appearance, so it was like seeing her disarmed, in a way. </p><p> </p><p>The Tohsaka house at night was dimly lit and eerie. It came with the territory, being a large, old building, but it never diminished the effect that Shirou felt like a kid lost in a castle. Thankfully he’d been there enough times to not require a map. </p><p> </p><p>“You okay?” Shirou asked, trying to keep his voice as low as possible. </p><p> </p><p>Rin still jumped, dropping a spoon that clattered to the ground.</p><p> </p><p>“Shirou!” she nearly gasped, “Would it kill you to have… ugh, I dunno, heavier footsteps?”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou looked down at his socks on the linoleum floor, bemused.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, I’m not wearing shoes and a certain someone helped train me to walk without making noise so I could be sneakier during a certain Grail War,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin rolled her eyes. Internally she was just glad Shirou had finally picked up a sharpness in his speech that she was near-certain he got from her.</p><p> </p><p>“Fine,” she said, grabbing the first mug and putting in the microwave, “As long as you’re here you may as well help me. Mix the milk and cocoa if you wanna be useful,”</p><p> </p><p>“Yes ma’am,” Shirou said, walking over to the counter.</p><p> </p><p>He ended up sneaking a mini-marshmallow in his mouth while Rin wasn’t looking before he actually started.</p><p> </p><p>“So,” he said inconspicuously, “You okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Rin turned from the microwave and looked back at him with her default expression: mildly skeptical.</p><p> </p><p>“Me? Yeah I’m good,” she said nonchalantly.</p><p> </p><p>Rin just sort of stood there awkwardly, arms folded in front of her, watching Shirou as he mixed everything together. Shirou finished, looking at her expectantly and letting the moment breathe for a second. Finally, he raised his eyebrows at the girl, prompting her to let out a sigh. </p><p> </p><p>“Okay I’m less than good. Sub-optimal,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>The timer on the microwave went off, making Rin jump a bit before she turned around to take out the now much-hotter mug. </p><p> </p><p>“Anything you wanna talk about?” Shirou asked as he approached her with the second cup.</p><p> </p><p>His voice had reverted to sounding like the old Shirou. And just like whenever she’d spoken with him years before, she found it almost ridiculously sincere. Some habits never went away.</p><p> </p><p>She took the cup from him and placed it in the microwave. </p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be fine,” she said, “Not sure I have any reason to say anything,” </p><p> </p><p>Shirou couldn’t help but be partially confused.</p><p> </p><p>“You don’t need a reason to vent,” he countered, “And if you <em> really </em>didn’t want to talk about anything, you wouldn’t have told me something was bugging you in the first place,”</p><p> </p><p>She hated how right he was. </p><p> </p><p>“I mean in my defense I did try,” she grumbled, “But yeah, I guess you’re right,”</p><p> </p><p>She took the second cup out of the microwave, exchanging it with Shirou for the next one. He proceeded to put the marshmallows in the cups that were ready, waiting for Rin to say something.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s… the priest,” she uttered.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou looked up when he was finished, Rin’s face clearly deep in thought as she spoke. He could’ve sworn he saw the gears in her head turning. </p><p> </p><p>“The priest?” he questioned, “Like, in the movie?” </p><p> </p><p>Rin snapped out of her brief haze and looked at Shirou more directly, blinking.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, yeah. Well… not really,” Rin said, “I just saw him in the movie and he just reminded me of… someone,”</p><p> </p><p>It didn’t take long for Shirou to connect the dots in terms of who she was referring to.</p><p> </p><p>“Kotomine?” he asked, absentmindedly stirring his mug with a spoon.</p><p> </p><p>She nodded, her intense look of deep thought returned like a veil.</p><p> </p><p>“Just… it pisses me off,” she remarked, slightly quieter than before. </p><p> </p><p>“That he tried to kill us and screw us all over after pretending to be a guide? Yeah I’m still not crazy about all that either,”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure. I mean more in the sense that he just died so very… mundanely. He deserved far worse,” she said with an undercurrent of venom.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re right,” Shirou said, “But he’s gone now and he can’t hurt anybody anymore. I’ll confess I don’t really understand why this is bugging you, but I hope him being gone is enough of a positive to make it seem better,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin’s expression changed from one of her more common faces to one that was truly rare. Sadness.</p><p> </p><p>Sadness in the elder Tohsaka girl was a very specific kind of look, but it was so distinct to practically anyone who knew Rin. It was simply impossible to mistake for anything else. It was quiet, somber, and stark, but never in the way normal people expressed it. Rin’s visage seemed eternally poised and beautiful, and an untrained eye would mistake her subtleties for indifference or callousness. Shirou, thankfully, did not have this issue. </p><p> </p><p>“I try,” she responded, “But it isn’t much help lately. I just keep picturing myself giving him what he really deserved. He sickens me,”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou saw Rin’s right fist ball tightly at her side. She was trembling for a moment, but caught herself, and ceased. He wished he knew what to do or say, but couldn’t help but get the impression he was missing something.</p><p> </p><p>He leaned in, nearly about to say something, but Rin beat him to it.</p><p> </p><p>“He killed my… he killed <em> our </em> father,” she said bitterly.</p><p> </p><p>Shirou’s eyes widened. He knew she wasn’t fond of the priest before he’d betrayed them, she expressed it quite clearly. But her disdain was simply not the kind you’d have for someone who’d killed someone close to you.</p><p> </p><p>“Holy shit,” Shirou softly muttered, “How did-”</p><p> </p><p>“He told me a few minutes before he died,” Rin said, deflating her posture a bit, “Just admitted it to spite me. Loathsome little shit,”</p><p> </p><p>That was a lot to unpack. Shirou couldn’t help but feel a little ill-equipped for this.</p><p> </p><p>“Did he tell you… why?” Shirou asked, baffled.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” she answered, “Just mentioned it. I don’t think he had a reason. He just wanted to,”</p><p> </p><p>That provoked something in Shirou. A deep-seated disgust. It wasn’t as if he’d excuse the man’s actions if he had a better reason, but needless violence was the most contemptible thing imaginable. It was such an event that led to Shirou’s own parents and countless other people dying. Senseless destruction.</p><p> </p><p>“Rin, I’m-”</p><p> </p><p>She held up her hand, wincing a bit.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s fine, Shirou. I’ll be okay. It’s just been getting to me lately,” she said, regaining her composure once she finished.</p><p> </p><p>She didn’t have the courage to muster up mentioning how mentoring Shirou proved to be a great escape for her. She felt a little bit like her old self. She felt useful, competent, and knowledgeable. It had been bad lately, but only in the moments she was alone with her thoughts- and thankfully because of the other three, that wasn’t often. </p><p> </p><p>“Does Sakura know?” Shirou asked, not really knowing what else to say.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” Rin said, “She doesn’t remember our parents. And since he’s gone now, I don’t see much point in telling her unless she asks. She’s been through enough,”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou was at a loss. This whole situation had been such a disaster from the get-go, and he couldn’t help but feel wildly out of place. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m just so sick of all these things and people defining my emotions. Defining my life,” she dejectedly continued, “My dad isn’t here anymore but he’s the entire reason I got involved with this Grail stuff in the first place. Kirei took him from me and changed the entirety of how my life progressed. Hell, I can’t even remember anything about mom. And I feel like I just carry all these stupid burdens they laid at my feet for no reason,”</p><p> </p><p>That was something he knew all too well as of late. In a sense, he felt guilty for his long-held idealism. Idealism born from the idolization of a deeply flawed man, treating him like something that he wasn’t. He felt like he’d been duped for wanting to do the right thing, and it left him in a precarious position. Finding out the things in your life that were the most important to you were just as flawed as you are was a sobering notion that they all had to deal with in some way. It all came externally. People, events, places, all too intrusive. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, you don’t have to carry them alone anymore,” Shirou said uneasily, “For whatever that’s worth. I think our lives have collectively kicked all of us while we’re down from the second we were born. But now I think we finally get some autonomy. It’s only natural that when we start living for ourselves, we see all the awful stuff that happened to us in retrospect. I don’t really know what to say… wish I did. But it… sucks. I’m sorry, Rin,”</p><p> </p><p>Rin exhaled. She let out a faint smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks, Shirou,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>His confusion only furthered.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t really feel like that was my best pep-talk,” he admitted.</p><p> </p><p>“It wasn’t,” she said, “But you listened… I haven’t ever had anyone around to listen to this stuff and it’s starting to just spill out of me, lately. I forget that people hearing me is enough. Occasionally,”</p><p> </p><p>Shirou was internally relieved. Rin wouldn’t have put on the guise of feeling a little better just to humor him. So he’d done something, even if it didn’t initially feel like it.</p><p> </p><p>“Well, <em> master, </em>anything for you,” Shirou said with a grin.</p><p> </p><p>Rin when right back to her old self. Rolling her eyes at Shirou.</p><p> </p><p>“Ugh, knock it off. Or I’ll start calling you ‘my apprentice’- God that really does sound ridiculous. Just gimme the damn cocoa,”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled, doing what was asked.</p>
<hr/><p>The hours passed, and after the movie, Rin and Shirou were both pretty exhausted. They had their second wind after lunch, but earlier they’d been working fairly hard. Sakura and Illya weren’t quite there yet, so they did as they usually did and went to Sakura’s room.</p><p> </p><p>It took a while to get the furnishings for her room and make it properly feel like ‘home’- but Rin had gone and spared no expense in making her sister feel at home. Like most bedrooms in the manor, it was fairly enormous. Soft carpet, a comfortable king-sized bed, a television, ornate white cabinets, and a tasteful blue color on the walls. </p><p> </p><p>After a while of idle chit-chat between the two, mostly about plans for next week and what they’d be working on in Sakura’s lessons, they laid back in Sakura’s bed and started channel surfing just to have some background noise while they talked. </p><p> </p><p>Illya currently sat up crossed-legged, in front of the pillows, as Sakura laid flat on her stomach, lazily perusing each channel on the tv. Illya couldn’t help but feel slightly emboldened, looking at the girl right there in front of her after having such an enjoyable evening. In theory… it was the ideal set of circumstances to-</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Illya,” Sakura said, disrupting her flow of thoughts, “Are you alright?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya was too caught up in her own head to even realize that she looked mildly unsettled, and her gaze was squarely on Sakura.</p><p> </p><p>Her conversation with Shirou earlier came to mind, specifically the part where she mentioned how bad a liar she was. There was certainly one way to fix that…</p><p> </p><p>“I’m… worried. A little bit,” she awkwardly let out.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura turned her attention to Illya fully, propping her head up as she looked at Illya with genuine concern. </p><p> </p><p>“Worried? Is something wrong?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>Illya would’ve never intentionally troubled the girl, but the melodious affectation in Sakura’s voice when she was explicitly worried about someone was like some kind of unspeakably gorgeous music that most mortals could only dream of hearing. The kind of voice she dreamed about for years as she toiled away in her isolation. </p><p> </p><p>And even then, the voice was only a fraction as beautiful as the lips that spoke with it. </p><p> </p><p>Illya felt like she detected a bead of sweat on her forehead. She knew she could do this, but this final hurdle would be no joke. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah,” Illya answered trepidatiously, “It's complicated, I guess. I’m at a bit of a crossroads and don’t know what to do,”</p><p> </p><p>She knew she couldn’t outright lie to Sakura, but she had to be careful about this. She couldn’t just break down her barriers and put them both out of their comfort zone, it could lead to her paranoia furthering, or it could scare Sakura. She had to lean into it gradually. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura sat up, crawling down next to where Illya sat, facing her as she decided to sit up. Her concern was still there, but there was a glint of determination in her eyes now. She didn’t even need to say anything, Illya knew she was hellbent on trying to help her in any way she could. One of her most admirable qualities was her unflinching selflessness. </p><p> </p><p>“A crossroads? Something important?” she asked. “Like a choice?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. It’s not gonna be the end of the world or anything, I’m just struggling with it a bit. It’s… a new feeling,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura’s eyes became slightly more pained. Illya figured that the younger Tohsaka girl would ask her to elaborate, but she surprised her. </p><p> </p><p>“New feelings, huh? Definitely know about those…” she said. </p><p> </p><p>It was Illya’s turn to be concerned. </p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like I’m not the only one,” Illya said, “Are <em> you </em>okay?”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura smiled, but in a way where you could just tell it was substituting for something a bit more painful. </p><p> </p><p>“Oh yes of course,” Sakura said, “I don’t mean to make this about me or anything, I just am… familiar. With feelings I don’t know how to handle,” </p><p> </p><p>This certainly was an interesting development.</p><p> </p><p>“Well I guess I’m in good company then,” Illya said trying to put a positive spin on it whilst trying to get back on the rails, “But if I had to guess, I’d say I’m not the only one who feels like their life really started after the war ended, right?”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura gave a hollow chuckle. Illya was more perceptive than she seemed. </p><p> </p><p>“You’re correct,” Sakura said. “Again, I don’t want to make this about me, I want to help you, of course. I’m just saying you’re in good hands if you need to talk to someone about it,”</p><p> </p><p>There was a bit more vivre in how she spoke. Such passion for her friends. </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Friends.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Well, that does make me feel a bit better,” Illya said with a sigh of relief, “Cause I think I’ve been feeling some stuff I didn’t expect to. Or maybe, I wanted to feel it, but just figured I’d never get the chance. And now… here I am,”</p><p> </p><p>Her nervousness could no longer be adequately contained.</p><p> </p><p>“What is it, exactly?” Sakura asked, placing a concerned hand on Illya’s knee, “If you don’t mind me asking, that is,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya swallowed after shivering from the physical contact. Her eyes drifted away from the other girl, making eye contact right now would’ve made her explode. </p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself, and maybe it’s just that everything lately has been so new… but I’m experiencing something I’ve never really encountered before. I wasn’t sure what it was at first but I think I *might* have figured it out. You know… kinda,” </p><p> </p><p>Sakura nodded, still looking at Illya attentively. </p><p> </p><p>“I get it,” she reassured the snowy-haired girl. “For the first few weeks, every time I felt anything approaching happiness it felt weird and unnatural. Being here, being with Rin, being with Shirou, being with you… but it’s all been pretty wonderful. I love it, but I frequently second guess it. It feels like one half of my brain is trying to sabotage the other. Happiness without any drawbacks feels… wrong. Isn’t that awful?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya had never heard more deeply relatable words, but it was still different. Illya hadn’t been in her right mind in years, and it stunted her emotionally now that she had proper stability. She had no baseline for comparison, no other people to gage situations for her, or teach her how feelings and communication worked. Her entire understanding of others was gradually learned since the war, and it was frequently overwhelming. She was essentially learning how to be a real person for the first time, whereas Sakura already knew how, it was just extraordinarily difficult. </p><p> </p><p>“I… wow. Yeah. Exactly,” Illya said in awe. </p><p> </p><p>Their eyes briefly met in one ephemeral moment. They connected over many things, a mutual desire for new experiences both mundane and exciting, an appreciation for the same stories and art, but this phenomenon extended beyond that. Through their pain, they were also tethered to each other. Both had been princesses locked in their respective towers for years. Mainly, because of the Grail War. </p><p> </p><p>They lost everything to it, and now here they were, united in its fallout. </p><p> </p><p>For each of them, it was nice to know there was a mutual sense of security and comfort in knowing they were understood by someone else. Loneliness was so integral to their previous existence that it felt like it would follow them forever…. but it didn’t. Not when they were with each other. </p><p> </p><p>“So it’s… it's okay. I get it if you can’t share or don’t want to, but I get it. A little bit. New things are nice but they’re scary too,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya nodded. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. That’s one way of putting it,” she said, beginning to nervously play with her hands that rested on her knees as she sat, “So uh… yeah,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya took a deep breath. </p><p> </p><p>“I think I have… feelings for… someone,” she finally managed to get out semia-awkwardly.</p><p> </p><p>She was internally screaming obscenities at herself. She was simply unable to say ‘you’- and her brain defaulted to something more general. She wanted this out of the way! Prolonging it would prove only torturous for all involved, but she was too afraid. </p><p> </p><p>It took everything in her not to show her internal disappointment with herself. Meanwhile, Sakura’s eyes widened with surprise. Ultimately it became an expression that was undoubtedly happy for her friend, but before that there was something brief and ephemeral. Illya paid it no mind, trying not to blind herself with optimism.</p><p> </p><p>“You do? That’s wonderful!” Sakura exclaimed, “Do they know?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya nervously laughed.</p><p> </p><p>“Not to my knowledge,” she answered honestly, “That’s… sort of my problem,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura nodded in understanding as Illya panicked, trying to find a way to loop this conversation back into what she intended it to be. The violet-haired girl gave her a knowing smile that briefly filled Illya with hope, which subsequently frustrated her once it initially faded.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re too nervous,” Sakura said, “Here I thought I was the shy one,”</p><p> </p><p>The irony was clawing at her. Of the two of them, Sakura was easily the more withdrawn and less outwardly emotional. This came with the catch that Illya only had a leg up on Sakura because she was already comfortable around the three of them. With anyone else, anyone from the outside world, she had to use Shirou as a buffer of sorts. This only led to more frustration, as it should have been easy for her. Sakura was someone who she was always comfortable around, so in theory, it should’ve been easy… right?</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… it’s kinda my first time around the block. Romantically, I mean. It’s a little bit scary,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>She was being intentionally vague until she could feasibly say what she wanted with total clarity. But, alas, her anxiety did not release its cruel grip on her. </p><p> </p><p>She was also horrified that if Sakura really thought about this for a second, she could figure out it was her she was referring to. She knew Illya didn’t spend time with anyone outside the three of them. If she gave it a moment of thought, then it was all going to collapse. Not exactly the way she wanted to break the news.</p><p> </p><p>So naturally, she felt like she had to distract her somehow. But how?</p><p> </p><p>“I completely get it. Seeing all the boys who were interested in Rin get their hearts broken week after week was a little disparaging,” Sakura said with an undercurrent of faint sadness, “Didn’t really get my hopes up for the future,”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Illya said, partially deflated, “If I could just find a way to relax and clear my head I know I could do it… I just.. Ugh,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura looked at her with a partial bit of pity. Illya had gone from partially pouting to staring at the bed sheets beneath her almost despondently. </p><p> </p><p>But then, something clicked. She wanted to help Illya, naturally. After all, she was her best friend. She didn’t have any experience in this stuff, so she doubted any real advice would prove fruitful. Shirou and Rin really weren’t the type to be experts on romance either. But, surely there was something that could help her.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you need to unwind a little,” Sakura said, more slyly than was typical of her.</p><p> </p><p>Illya cocked an eyebrow. Where was <em> this </em>going?</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like you have an idea,” Illya said.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura hopped off the bed, turned around with a smile, and pointed at Illya, who sat there wondering why she was suddenly so animated.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll be right back,” she said with a bit of vivre.</p><p> </p><p>Illya went along with it, nodding as Sakura scampered off through the doorway. Seeing the girl energetically plod along in her pajamas reminded Illya of one of the many reasons she had taken to her: she was despicably adorable in nearly every movement she made. </p><p> </p><p>Illya sat there, aimlessly waiting impatiently, wondering just what in the hell she was in for.</p>
<hr/><p>Sakura was never really one for bold ideas, but as of late, things were different. She had more energy and more willingness to try new things after moving in with Rin, so this wasn’t out of nowhere. It was incredible how different and spontaneous she felt now that she wasn’t miserable most of the time.</p><p> </p><p>During her magical studies, she learned more than what she’d acquired from just Illya. Rin had textbooks and tomes that could fill several lifetimes worth of material for any promising mage. One area of interest particular to her was botany. Magical plants and flowers were aesthetically appealing to her, but they also had near infinite uses when synthesized, broken down, bred, or mutated properly. So much so that it was practically uncharted territory. You had to have deep pockets and have a lot of equipment to properly pursue this area of magecraft, and thankfully the Tohsaka family had plenty of both.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura had been growing flowers in the garden in the backyard, purely by the insistence of her sister. Noting that Sakura was interested in the field, she told her to go crazy since the plots of dirt had remained empty for so long. Apparently it was an interest of their mother’s that she had never picked up, and looked forward to seeing the emptiness replaced by something Sakura made, and she was happy to comply. </p><p> </p><p>This led down dozens of avenues. Sakura learned about potion brewing, hereditary traits of magical herbs and plants when bred, and the sheer overwhelming amount of variety and applicability. It was done in her spare time, but she did have a solid amount of it since school was of no consequence. </p><p> </p><p>Ultimately, this showed Sakura that she could do just about anything. Up to and including growing things that could, if consumed properly, have certain… <em> effects </em> on a given subject.</p><p> </p><p>She’d been waiting for an opportunity like this, with Illya specifically because she knew she’d be down for it. Rin was… well she was Rin, and she wasn’t sure how cool her older sister would be with what amounted to doing highly potent and alchemically-designed drugs. It wasn’t as if she was making hallucinogens or anything harmful. What she had put together as a side project was something she hoped would be more medicinal in nature. Something to soothe anxiety, calm nerves, induce a measured euphoria, and ease pain. Yeah it induced a high, but that simply came with the territory. Up until now she had only tried it once to make sure it was safe, but knew she needed more of a pool to test it out on. Illya, due to her unique genetic makeup, had an incomparable immune system, a slight healing factor, and internal organs that could heal from basically any inherent biological problem. Sakura still wouldn’t have tried it on her even with that knowledge, but after testing the waters, she knew it was safe. It was really a matter of potency. The single time Sakura had done it, she consumed a bit too much and ended up sleeping for ten hours after feeling like she’d begun to float around in her own body.  </p><p> </p><p>It was also something she knew was part of the teenage experience. Something that loads of people their age did, albeit with far less quality drugs. It was a safe environment and she was with people she could trust, and she knew what she was working with. Doing it wasn’t enough, it was the social aspect that she yearned for. </p><p> </p><p>She grabbed her stuff from her desk drawer in the basement room where all of their magecraft stuff was stored. Each girl had a desk with various instruments and tools of their particular magical interests. She kept it ready in a small wooden box: a half dozen single ‘doses’ of her herbal concoction all rolled tightly in a special kind of parchment to be easily lit and inhaled. </p><p> </p><p>Sakura went back upstairs, coming back through the hallway and into her room with about as much enthusiasm as she had when she left. </p><p> </p><p>Illya looked at her precariously, at first hardly even noticing that she had grabbed something as the box was so small. Sakura noted her apprehension, and hoped she could help with it somewhat. It was a good opportunity to test her work, sure, but this was the real reason she made it. To help people who struggled as she did with anxiety or depression and needed to take the edge off. That, and she just wanted to help and spend more time with the Einzbern girl. They both had so much life to catch up on.</p><p> </p><p>She made her way over to the bed, and took out one of the samples, holding it up in front of Illya. Her confusion really only furthered. </p><p> </p><p>“What is that?” she asked curiously.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura took it, gently pressing it to her lips with one hand. With the other, she extended her thumb just beneath the tip of it, and muttered an incantation. A tiny but still bright flame appeared just above it, lighting the edge. Sakura inhaled as the flame went away, Illya merely stared.</p><p> </p><p>“I made it myself,” Sakura said after a steady exhale, “It’s supposed to help calm you down,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya chuckled nervously with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Sakura Tohsaka, are you manufacturing <em> drugs </em>?” she asked with a theatrical inflection.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura smiled.</p><p> </p><p>“Of sorts,” she said, taking a more confident drag, “It’s my own design. Much more pure and refined than something like cannabis. I’ve tried it myself once and I didn’t have any adverse effects, and it’s supposed to last for 12 hours,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya’s eyes widened.</p><p> </p><p>“Twelve HOURS?” she asked in disbelief. </p><p> </p><p>She nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“You would be astonished by the kinds of things you can do in the field of magical botany,” she said plainly, “I figure that if this works for you, it could even you out a bit. Maybe, it could even help you to take the leap and confess to whoever this lucky person might be!”</p><p> </p><p>Illya smirked. Sakura was encouraged by her positive response.</p><p> </p><p>“Well then don’t hog the whole thing!” she said, outstretching her hand.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura handed it to her, and she took it in her hand between her fingers. She mimicked exactly what Sakura had done, trying not to laugh when she considered that this was probably the first and only time anyone had modeled any form of ‘deviant behavior’ after Sakura, who was purer than the driven snow. Or so most people thought, anyway.</p><p> </p><p>She took a slow drag, trying to prepare herself for the inevitable coughing fit she figured would ensue. Instead, as the smoke filled her lungs, what followed was a cool, soothing sensation that didn’t provoke anything. Everything down to the smell of it (which was faintly of lavender, not unlike Sakura’s preferred scent of shampoo which Illya definitely didn’t notice and become increasingly enticed by) Sakura looked at her expectantly, and Illya exhaled after keeping it down for a few more seconds. </p><p> </p><p>The effect was almost instant.</p><p> </p><p>“You… feeling okay?” Sakura asked after giving it a few seconds.</p><p> </p><p>Illya expected things to feel… slower. Instead she felt an increased awareness of her surroundings. This heightening however coincided with a mellowness that she seldom felt. Her muscles ceased the tension they’d kept in from her nervousness before.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura took the cigarette back, taking another drag as Illya nodded slowly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah… yeah I feel pretty great,” she said, “That stuff is… potent, huh?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad it works for you!” she said, “I can start breeding variants soon. Think you’d be in any condition to talk to a certain someone while under the influence?”</p><p> </p><p>The cheeky tone in her voice nearly made Illya shiver, but the effects of the high were keeping her calm. Despite the definite improvement in her state of being, she could feel her heart beating quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I think this could… help. Yeah,” she said unsurely, staring at Sakura as she pressed the edge of the cigarette out on the box.</p><p> </p><p>“Now all you have to do is-”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura stopped.</p><p> </p><p>She looked up to see Illya staring at her. It was curious, and perhaps it was merely the mood that had set in because of the high, but her expression was hard to read. It looked like fear at first, with maybe a glint of curiosity. Sakura studied her momentarily until she finally saw it for what it was: hope.</p><p> </p><p>But why would...</p><p> </p><p>Illya didn’t even say anything. She saw Sakura go through the motions of realizing what was in front of her. She got a little caught up in how she could help, and the moment she thought about it, it was obvious. </p><p> </p><p>Illya blinked, waiting for an opportunity to say or do something, but Sakura still looked befuddled.</p><p> </p><p>“O-Oh,” she breathed, “S-So I guess the person you like wouldn’t happen to be Rin, would it?”</p><p> </p><p>Illya blushed.</p><p> </p><p>“No. It’s… you,” she finally got out.</p><p> </p><p>There was a certain peace she felt with finally saying it out loud. No matter the answer she got, at least it was finally out there. She did however, hope desperately that Sakura smoking with her cushioned the blow of this should it not go over well.</p><p> </p><p>She could only deliver a pained smile.</p><p> </p><p>“If it’s any consolation..” she hurried out before Sakura responded, “I think your idea worked. I don’t know if I could’ve said that under… normal circumstances,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura’s expression softened. Illya was certain that when she was finally able to confess to her, she’d be a nervous wreck too, so this was pretty much the best possible set of circumstances. Sakura still had the wherewithal to be direct and honest.</p><p> </p><p>“Illya… I think you’re great...” she said.</p><p> </p><p>Illya closed her eyes and steeled herself. She knew there was a ‘but’ coming.</p><p> </p><p>“But…”</p><p> </p><p>It still stung. Even though she internally knew that, deep down, this was probably inevitable. At least she wasn’t mad.</p><p> </p><p>“But why would you… why would you like me?” Sakura asked, genuinely confused.</p><p> </p><p>Illya’s eyes shot open. That was the furthest thing from what she expected. </p><p> </p><p>“What?” Illya asked, very nearly adopting a stern tone of voice. </p><p> </p><p>“I d-don’t understand. I’m just so… unremarkable,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>It was the sincerity with which those words were delivered that hurt Illyasviel. Sakura genuinely believed that. Whether or not she felt something more for the girl was irrelevant, she felt she’d failed as a friend.</p><p> </p><p>“Sakura,” she began, her tone matching Rin of all people, “Unremarkable? You are, without question, the most remarkable person I know,”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes widened again. They were these big, doe-eyed saucers that currently gleamed with the reflection of the tv in them. She was beginning to tear up.</p><p> </p><p>Illya leaned forward, gently wiping away the first droplet that cascaded down her cheek with her thumb. Sakura didn’t even flinch, her increased awareness made it feel like she could feel Illya breaths dancing on her skin at that range.</p><p> </p><p>“I know that’s not exactly saying much… y’know, considering I know about three people. But I think you know what I mean. I could meet everyone on earth and it would still be true,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura laughed, some of the tension dissipating a bit without fading completely. Illya was proud of herself for that. </p><p> </p><p>What profoundly affected Sakura was the fact that Illya said that with total sincerity. The girl truly didn’t have a dishonest bone in her body. She could appreciate what she was saying because she was a friend first and foremost, and someone who was interested in her second. In fact, Illya temporarily forgot the intended purpose of this nightly venture. She just wanted her friend to feel okay.</p><p> </p><p>“You’re smart. And you’re caring. You’re a good cook, an incredible mage who barely even needs my help. You’re kind despite the fact that the world did nothing but kick you down. You’re… you’re incredible,”</p><p> </p><p>Illya didn’t expect to say all that much. It all just sort of fell out of her haphazardly. </p><p> </p><p>“Illya… you… but you’ve-”</p><p> </p><p>“Nuh-uh, miss,” Illya playfully scolded, “This is not the tragedy olympics. We all have our own awful things to deal with, so don’t you dare compare yourself to someone else like that. You matter more than that,”</p><p> </p><p>After that, both girls just stared into each other’s eyes. They each felt like the euphoria was setting in, giving them a second wind of energy that made this tempestuous conversation feel almost cosmic in scale. Illya’s crimson eyes were like eager, flickering flames that dug into Sakura, seeping into her skin to tingle her spine. Whereas Illya saw violet eyes that made her feel like she was in a meadow full of lilacs gently moving in a breeze.</p><p> </p><p>“It doesn’t hurt that I think you might be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen,” Illya said quietly, not being able to tell if either of their faces had slowly drifted closer to one another as they stared.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura felt her pulse quicken. Instead of adding to her stress it was somehow still very... calm. </p><p> </p><p>“I spent a lot of my life reading stories. Looking at the covers of novels. Using my imagination to make these vivid portraits of what I read. They were my only escape, and I like to think I got pretty good at it. To the point where maybe reality would never be able to hold a candle to the things I pictured. You… you proved me wrong. There’s no princess, no imaginable <em> thing </em>I could conjure up that’s as beautiful as you are,” Illya said.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura felt like she might swoon, and couldn’t tell if it was the drug or Illya.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know… I don’t know what to say,” Sakura said, still unable to process how someone with such passionate, flowery prose deemed her worthy of such things.</p><p> </p><p>Illya’s smile faded, but only slightly. </p><p> </p><p>“Say whatever you feel. I don’t know how you feel about me, or if this is just going to drive a wedge between us… but I would never want you to be anything other than honest. I understand, and I know this is sudden but… I had to,”</p><p> </p><p>Sakura closed her eyes, exhaling.</p><p> </p><p>“Illya… I would never let anything come between us. No matter what. You're my friend. But… if you wanted to be more than that… I would love to give it a shot,” she said, tears forming in her eyes again, “It’s only been a few months and I can’t imagine my life without you. And you’re so… smart, and fun… and pretty,”</p><p> </p><p>They both paused, ultimately sniggering slightly at her awkward word choice. The tears weren’t exclusive to Sakura now. Tears that Illya predicted shedding, but for totally opposite reasons than she anticipated.</p><p> </p><p>Both girls had internalized the fact that they were destined to endure a life of loneliness and isolation, and the other person’s existence just proved that wrong. </p><p> </p><p>Illya moved forward, cupping the girl’s cheek with one hand. Sakura showed no sign of resistance, so he furthered her advance. </p><p> </p><p>The two kissed, and it felt like fireworks.</p><p> </p><p>Both had imagined what this kind of kiss would be like, and not even in their wildest dreams did they imagine it would be quite that spectacular. It was chaste, soft, but passionate in it’s restraint. Both of them were holding back, but both obviously nervous.</p><p> </p><p>Once it was over, they both leaned back, looking at one another. Somehow, it looked like they had become different human beings once they opened their eyes after the kiss. Both of them couldn’t help but let out an awkward, somewhat meek-sounding laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Dibs on not telling Rin and Shirou,” Sakura said.</p><p> </p><p>Illya, who was already red, somehow burned a bit brighter.</p><p> </p><p>“Shirou… knows. Sorta,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>Sakura held onto her smile, but her eyes narrowed. </p><p> </p><p>“Shirou before Rin?” she asked in disbelief.</p><p> </p><p>“Shirou before <em> you </em>too, dummy,” Illya countered.</p><p> </p><p>They both laughed briefly before embracing, savoring the moment. Ultimately they both simply laid down, hand in hand, wordlessly in each other’s presence. They didn’t have to confirm anything to one another, feelings nor desires. They just lay there. </p><p> </p><p>The two princesses who had spent their lives in the top of their towers, had somehow managed to find a way to free each other.</p><p> </p><p>Some fairy tales simply don’t need valiant princes. </p>
<hr/><p>Ireland was cold. Once again, the hemispheres conspired against her. Reines dressed warmly and still managed to arrive at the airport during the start of a blizzard. She thanked the heavens she was smart enough to call for a driver ahead of time so she didn’t have to wait for someone to pick her up.</p><p> </p><p>The drive was long, and the view wasn’t exactly impressive. The further away from Dublin they went, the more the Irish countryside consisted solely of rolling hills and the occasional farmland. It would have been lovely in a nicer time of year, but now it was grey, cold, and after an hour there wasn’t a blade of grass to be seen.</p><p> </p><p>The driver’s car was brought to a halt two separate times because of the snow. Reines held in her impatience, knowing it was above her to be bothered with the incompetence of non-mages. She was above expecting better. She knew. </p><p> </p><p>She was thankful she’d finished conducting her last few experiments before she came. If she had any time-sensitive matters going on they would’ve most surely gone awry. </p><p> </p><p>When they arrived at the chapel and the decrepit old building that served as the priest’s home, she could hardly call herself relieved. It looked like the kind of place that would be heated by a gas stove before an actual heating system. Her magical circuits were going to overwork themselves trying to keep warm.</p><p> </p><p>She thanked the driver, grabbing her suitcase and hurrying up the small incline that led to the old porch, not wasting any time at all knocking on the door. </p><p> </p><p>A clumsy set of footsteps approached the door, opening it quickly. He was keenly aware of how cold it must’ve been.</p><p> </p><p>He opened the door, surprised to see a familiar face. Especially one that was nearly a foot shorter than he was.</p><p> </p><p>“Reines?” he asked. </p><p> </p><p>She gave a polite smile.</p><p> </p><p>“Father Donovan,” she greeted, “I would’ve called ahead of time but it was rather urgent that I see you,”</p><p> </p><p>He hastily welcomed the girl inside, still in slight disbelief she’d even come. He took her coat and suitcase for her as she looked around the old house. Thankfully it was warmer than she expected inside. </p><p> </p><p>“Can I offer you something to eat or drink?” he asked, nearly in a panic.</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m perfectly content,” she said, “Though I would like to discuss the context of my arrival as soon as you’re able. I know it’s quite sudden and I don’t want to trouble you longer than I have to,”</p><p> </p><p>He led her into the dining room, which was composed of nothing more than a modest wooden table with cloth draped over it, a painting of flowers on the wall, and ornate furnishings and chairs. Reines didn’t know how ‘the other half’ lived in such minimal conditions. </p><p> </p><p>Father Donovan grabbed his mug (which was very likely filled with whisky) from the other room and sat across the table from Reines, worry very evidently etched onto his face.</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t mean to be rude lass, but is there a reason as to why you couldn’t have made a phone call instead?” he asked, not bothered, but obviously concerned.</p><p> </p><p>“There is, unfortunately,” she said with a slightly deflated tone, “Matters such as this warrant a visit in person, I’m afraid,”</p><p> </p><p>His look of concern only intensified.</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” he said, scratching his chin as he looked at the young woman, “This wouldn’t happen to be about that phone call from a few months back, would it? About the Grail?”</p><p> </p><p>Reines tensed up. It wasn’t an actual reaction, more a carefully timed ruse to play the part that she needed to fulfill. It had done her just fine so far, so she saw no reason to do anything else.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she said uneasily, “It would. I do not mean to cut directly to the chase of the matter, but I am in need of your aid. My position within the Clock Tower demands it,”</p><p> </p><p>He raised an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Your position? I didn’t know you’d achieved such a status so soon,” he said, genuinely impressed.</p><p> </p><p>She couldn’t lie, it felt good when people acknowledged how far she’d come. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, it’s nothing incredible thus far,” she intentionally downplayed, “Merely an investigator of magical affairs, still on my probationary period. However, that’s not why I’m here. I’m here for the sake of the safety of both mages and normal citizens… I have good reason to believe it’s going to be threatened very soon,”</p><p> </p><p>She had to sell that angle. That she was here not for the Clock Tower or for herself, but for the good of everyone. Who could question that?</p><p> </p><p>A dour look came upon the priest’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Saints preserve… another Grail War?” he asked breathlessly.</p><p> </p><p>She looked at the floor, mustering a frown. She was at least grateful he was savvy enough to catch on quickly so that she didn’t have to explain.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m afraid it might be,” she sighed, “There’s nothing that’s truly begun yet, but it seems someone is attempting to manifest the Grail’s will. Using it’s unstable nature to call forth another war. I’m not permitted to say much about an ongoing investigation but… there have been experiments conducted…”</p><p> </p><p>“Experiments?” he asked, clearly concerned.</p><p> </p><p>She nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“This fiend, whoever they may be… there have been cases of ritual human sacrifice that have popped up in various locations around the globe. Someone has been using these incidents as trial and error tests for summoning it. Exactly like you mentioned,” she said forlornly.</p><p> </p><p>His eyes widened and his posture adjusted as if his spine had been frozen. </p><p> </p><p>“Never been more upset to be proven right… what do you need from me? I wish I could offer more information but I’m far from a historia-”</p><p> </p><p>She shook her head.</p><p> </p><p>“No,” she declared, “When… <em> if </em>the time comes, we’ll need someone to oversee it. To… call the shots. The church has always worked in conjunction during the wars in some capacity,” </p><p> </p><p>He nodded slowly, realizing what was being asked of him.</p><p> </p><p>“You want me to be the overseer of the sixth Holy Grail War? Since the Kotomines are out of the picture?” he asked.</p><p> </p><p>“If it does indeed come to that,” she reminded him carefully, “This is mostly a precaution, but myself and my associates need to make sure the board is set for when this happens. Preferably, set in our favor,”</p><p> </p><p>A truth within a lie. She was confident in her abilities to win, but she was smart enough to know nothing was certain. <em> Especially </em>when it came to the Grail. In fact, she relished the thought of a challenge, but her desire to validate her own confidence and prove her own worth didn’t supersede the necessity of victory. That was the real endgame. After all, what was a little tattered pride when you were the most powerful mage in the world on her rightful throne?</p><p> </p><p>It was a good plan. Asking him to sway the game in favor of the Clock Tower if he could was the perfect trojan horse to protect her from suspicion. After all, once he was aware she was bending the rules and trusting him enough to disclose this, what other reason was there to be wary of? If you fought for the ‘right’ cause and fought by less-than-principled means, it was a sure sign that you were simply willing to be virtuous no matter the cost. The infraction of not playing an ‘honest’ game was just small enough to look past, but large enough to consider.</p><p> </p><p>“I see,” he said, staring out the window at the snowstorm that picked up, “So… say a ruling needs to be called, a command seal becomes a bargaining chip, those sorts of things, you would expect me to rule in your favor?”</p><p> </p><p>Reines feigned a shameful look and nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes,” she said, “I know it is… unethical, but-”</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll stop ya right there,” he said with an exasperated smile, “The Grail War has <em> never </em> been <em> anything </em>other than unethical. If we want to put a stop to that beast that’s threatening this world, as well as whoever is dim-witted enough to try and harness that power, then we have to take extraordinary measures,”</p><p> </p><p>It took considerable restraint on Reines part not to glare at him. Even the implication of her actions being deemed ‘dim-witted’ was enough to incite fury in her. However, she kept calm.</p><p> </p><p>“You may not even have to make such a call,” she said, “It’s a preventative measure. Though, I do think there’s something else we can do to secure a victory and ultimately destroy it,”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m all ears,” he said with a sip.</p><p> </p><p>“We need another piece on the board,” she stated, “I will be participating in the War and have my artifact ready for a servant summoning should the time come. I’m confident in my ability to hold my own, but a decisive tactical advantage would be to have as many allies as I can. We can create a united front to stop whoever is involved in all this, and settle the spoils and plan when that’s done with,”</p><p> </p><p>It took him a moment, but he arrived on the same page as Reines, finally.</p><p> </p><p>“A church representative in the war, you say?” he clarified.</p><p> </p><p>She nodded enthusiastically.</p><p> </p><p>“I know the magical community and the church haven’t always been on great terms, but the cooperation sends a good message to the higher ups. It’ll rid your establishment of the blight that Kotomine cast on it. It’s not required, but I think it’s in everyone’s best interest,” she said.</p><p> </p><p>She was trying desperately to make this sound like an organic request and not something she’d almost rehearsed saying with her programmed eidetic memory. </p><p> </p><p>“Well, normally I would volunteer myself. May be long in the tooth but I can hold my own. But, if you need me to be the overseer, then I can’t quite do that. Thankfully… I do have someone in mind,”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Bingo. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Oh?” she asked inquisitively.</p><p> </p><p>“One of my apprentices, Sister Morning, perhaps my most talented disciple. I have no doubt she’d be of great aid to this cause,” he said.</p><p> </p><p>“And just where is she?” she asked, trying to conceal her excitement. </p><p> </p><p>“Here,” he said matter-of-factly, “She’s either sleeping upstairs or holed up in one of the church pues saying her Hail Mary’s. We can ask her whenever she pops in, see what she has to say,”</p><p> </p><p>Reines nodded.</p><p> </p><p>“Spectacular,” she said with a bit more gumption, “Once this affair is sorted we will repay you in any way we can,”</p><p> </p><p>He chuckled.</p><p> </p><p>“Normally, a priest would say he has no need for such rewards, that the divine hereafter would be enough. But… frankly, I could certainly use some coin for a new house,”</p><p> </p><p>He looked around at the ramshackle building, no doubt older than both Reines and Donovan combined. </p><p> </p><p>“Righteousness doesn’t equate to the quality of your life. At least, I don’t think it should,”</p><p> </p><p>He smiled after another drink.</p><p> </p><p>“Right you are, lass,” he said, “Now, inform me of everything you all know. If I’m going to do this I need context and I need it now,”</p><p> </p><p>Even while serious, he was still a jovial man.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> And a fool. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It was time to relay one of the other fifty falsehoods she’d conjured up in order to keep this whole ordeal veiled to everyone but her. It was mostly to cover her ass, for sure, but there was something else to it too. The thrill of weaving such a tangled web. Of being the predator. She relished it. </p><p> </p><p>“Goodness, where should I begin…?” she said. </p>
<hr/><p>Hishiri Adashino did not like answering the phone, and she definitely did not like answering the phone when Waver Velvet was on the other end.</p><p> </p><p>She sat at her desk in her office in the Clock Tower, desperately wanting to return to her room. She’d been filing paperwork all day and was exhausted, and this felt too fitting of an annoyance to cap off the evening. Working in her department as of late had proved to be incredibly droll, and somewhat insulting as she expected a mage of her expertise and talent would have been given work beyond that of office grunt work. There could have been a million other things she could be doing, traveling to foreign lands and managing investigations outside just Britain and Japan, but she hadn't had the opportunity in some time. </p><p> </p><p>“Adashino speaking,” she said, making no attempt to hide the annoyance in her voice. </p><p> </p><p>Waver chuckled. </p><p> </p><p>“Apologies for the late call, I’ll make this quick. Sounds like you’ve had a long day,” he remarked.</p><p> </p><p>“Your powers of observation are unparalleled, El-Melloi,” she sardonically quipped, “If this is about the case then there’s no reason this couldn’t have waited-”</p><p> </p><p>“Someone in the Clock Tower is trying to summon the grail again,” Waver said, his tone becoming notably drier. </p><p> </p><p>The way he spoke made a chill run down her spine. </p><p> </p><p>“... that’s a serious accusation,” she said, tempering her own tone, “And quite an implausible one. Have you brought this up with Reines?”</p><p> </p><p>Waver gave a frustrated exhale. </p><p> </p><p>“I have, but she seems utterly unconcerned. I informed her of something that passed through my office this morning, an incident report that seemed… troubling. I can’t help but suspect it’s connected to our case from a few months ago, but she seemed rather dismissive. I didn’t get the impression she was going to give it the consideration it deserved, so I felt the need to bring it up with you. It’s more in line with your department anyway,”</p><p> </p><p>“Exactly how ‘troubling’ was this report?” she asked, still not convinced this was worth her time yet. </p><p> </p><p>Waver shifted in his seat. </p><p> </p><p>“I… well, it would seem there was a series of rather disconcerting murders that was uncovered in Tibet,” he said. </p><p> </p><p>That earned her attention quickly. </p><p> </p><p>“Murders?” she asked. </p><p> </p><p>“Ritualistic in nature, no doubt,” he added, “One of our allies in the clergy was told something by a friend of his, a monk, that there were some disappearances in some nearby villages. Eventually, they found a cave where someone had, quite unsuccessfully, tried to create a magic circle… with the victim's blood,”</p><p> </p><p>There were dozens of questions running in her head at the moment. </p><p> </p><p>“Do we know for what purpose?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“It was not dissimilar to the kind one would use when summoning a servant. They couldn’t determine details because whoever had created it had mostly destroyed the evidence,” he explained.</p><p> </p><p>“But not so thoroughly as to hide their work or its intention. Were they interrupted and made a hasty escape?” she inquired.</p><p> </p><p>“Yes… in a manner of speaking,” he elaborated, “In fact, the perpetrator was caught. He’d slit his wrists and cut out his own tongue,”</p><p> </p><p>Grim. But what could such a thing mean?</p><p> </p><p>“You suspect foul play?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I do,” Waver insisted, “The man had been seen performing such acts and fled the scene, his body was found later. From what we can tell, the man had no magical circuits, ability, prior knowledge, or even as much as a tome on his person,”</p><p> </p><p>This sounded worse and worse with every word.</p><p> </p><p>“Perhaps he was puppeteered somehow,” she wondered aloud.</p><p> </p><p>“My thoughts as well,” Waver added, “Reines seemed dismissive about the ordeal. Frankly, it didn’t sit right with me. You know how she is with non-mages, I doubt she’ll give it a second thought. It wouldn’t be the first time an outsider gained knowledge and even infiltrated such a ritual-”</p><p> </p><p>And who would know that better than Waver, after all.</p><p> </p><p>“-but this feels far too close in proximity to the Grail War a few months ago. I don’t like it. And I do apologize for bothering you about it, but my caseload as it is cannot accommodate anything else,”</p><p> </p><p>“So why do you suspect it’s a mage within the Clock Tower?” she asked.</p><p> </p><p>“I’ll run them by you, but our friendly priest was kind enough to deliver images to us of the scene. The markings on one of the final seals were ones only taught in the Clock Tower. Third-year students and above only. I’ll get them to your office tomorrow morning, but I don’t find it to be a coincidence. The odds that such knowledge would slip through the cracks and wind up so far from away from us is-”</p><p> </p><p>“Astronomical,” she finished, “No, you’re correct. This isn’t just suspicious, this is imperative. Someone could be using humans as puppets to experiment with grail summoning rituals,” </p><p> </p><p>She could hear Waver form a sigh of relief. </p><p> </p><p>“I’m glad we’re on the same page,” he said, “I wouldn’t trust this with anyone else,” </p><p> </p><p>She resisted the urge to feel somewhat grateful for that. They may have been colleagues in the strictest of senses, but she viewed them as rivals first and foremost. </p><p> </p><p>“Thank you for bringing this to my attention,” she said, “I’ll look into this further. Expect to hear from me, these matters aren’t my area of expertise,”</p><p> </p><p>The two bid the other goodnight, each hanging up but imbued with a distinct, lingering anxiousness. If this was what they suspected it to be, something very bad was happening. Worse than <em>bad. </em>Potentially apocalyptic. But who could be so brazen and twisted as to do so knowing the nature of such an object so soon after the disasters that came in the last two wars? She was dealing with someone knowledgeable, but also reckless. </p><p> </p><p>Reines disregard for such matters could prove to be immensely problematic in the future, and for once she was thankful the two El-Melloi clan heads operated as a team. Without Waver this incident could’ve been buried, not that Reines dismissive attitude surprised Hishiri. Her arrogance was incredible even for a mage. She may have warranted a visit after this was all done for reckless conduct, that idiot girl. </p><p> </p><p>For now, Hishiri had a lot of avenues to explore. She didn’t know if the incident Waver had come to her about was the first, and would have to do some digging for other related incidents, as well as be on the lookout for them in the near future. If this person was experimenting with these rituals, they were going to have to keep trying until they got what they wanted. </p><p> </p><p>Actually being so cruel as to use human life for such experiments… curious. It wasn’t unheard of for normal humans to find themselves victims of magical phenomena, but it wasn’t exactly common either. That was part of her job, making sure outsiders didn’t uncover the magical world right under their noses. Along with being a threat to the magical community considering the Grail’s immense power, it was a threat to the security of all humans if these incidents were to continue. More humans would be killed. Their community and livelihood was beneath a thin enough veil as it was. </p><p> </p><p>In other words: this could’ve very well spelled disaster for dozens upon dozens of reasons. </p><p> </p><p>Hishiri sighed once again. </p><p> </p><p>For now, she’d rest, but she had a lot of work to do when she woke up. </p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>First time venturing into the Fate universe, this dumpster fire of lore and stupidity that, against my better judgment, I love. I've always felt like even the main core of the story felt kinda disjointed and unsatisfying for a few reasons, so I wanted to do my best to rectify that. Pretty much the only things that matter here are Fate/Zero and Unlimited Blade Works, but if I deem a change necessary, then I'm not gonna hesitate for the sake of general clarity. Throwing in a few characters from supplementary material like Reines and Hishiri, but you don't have to know who they are to follow, and I liked the idea of trying to go for some more original servants (even though some of them exist already in the extended canon. Have you seen how many goddamned historical figures they've already included? Come on Nasu. Gimme a break, dude.) Anyway, enjoy, trying to make this as easy as possible to follow, since if you think too much about Fate lore you risk getting a brain aneurysm.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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